The Virgin Transhumanist vs Biohacker Chad

Virgin Transhumanist:
Eager to implant a casio calculator into his head
Can't imagine living without electricity
Worships Ray Kurzweil and his singularity cult
Thinks Strong AI will magically sprout with more computing power
Wants to replace his weak limbs with cybernetic implants
Needs a power source to carry with himself
Wouldn't mind ceding some of his body control to AI
Deathly afraid of hardware failures and computer viruses
Dependent on fragile high-tech devices to ensure optimal health
Secretly wants to be in a Matrix pod


Biohacker Chad:
Biologically immortal
Advanced his genetic line thousands of years into the future
Bulletproof and knifeproof elastic skin
Flawless DNA due editing
Can feed on light and radiation because of symbiotic organelles
Controls every cell of his body with superhuman precision
Immune to cancer, bacteria and viruses
Regenerates from any wound and injury
Sub-microsecond reaction time with biological optic fibers
Can beat all Olympic records with ease
DNA contains all skills and arts that ever existed.
Memory and brain functions stored in distributed network across the body
Builtin electrolysis provides free oxygen underwater
Condenses water from air on the ground

Memory and brain functions stored in distributed network across the body

made me chuckle

Thinks Strong AI will magically sprout with more computing power

exascale is the estimate for 1x realtime human brain sim, and from there it's just a matter of (even more) speed to have a digital person that can think at 2x, 4x, N times as quick