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Neurotypical idiots

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-20 2:39

I fucking hate all of you for making me waste my time.

After graduating from university, I still was a virgin. Some of my ex-classmates I was kinda close with kept bugging me about my "distant, cold and aloof personality". They don't understand it's plain boring to spend your time with people who are majoring on computer engineering, yet still don't know how to install a Linux distro or make a basic IRC client in C. Because of this, interaction between us consisted of calling me whenever they wanted to play a multiplayer game or had a problem with their pirated software running on shitty hardware. Telling them outright to fuck off wasn't a good idea because university forces you to do group homework and making enemies is never a good idea, no matter where you are.

Now for the relevant part. Since we all grew out of university and went on with our lives, many of them followed the usual trend of getting a job, buying a car, finding a girlfriend and becoming utterly bitter faggots. One of my ex-classmates called me, said he's wondering how I've been doing and invited me over to his place. Trying not to be an asshole, I accepted his invitation and had a long conversation while we were having lunch. The lunch his girlfriend had prepared for all three of us.

Him: "How's life going for you?"
Me: "Got a job for a small company that works with embedded devices. Been writing some simple drivers and helping them with their Linux servers and stuff because they don't have any sysadmins yet. What about you?"
H: "Found a job at a company that makes software for other bigger companies. It's been pretty hard on me but I'm doing this for the both of us."
(starts staring at his girlfriend, she giggles and they kiss)
H: "I suppose you already found someone to give meaning to your life."
(first thought that comes to my head is that of my favorite Touhou, then I realize how gay he sounds)
M: "No, you know I'm not the kind of person to spend my time with others."
H: "Awww! Come on, aren't you a bit too old for that?"
(girlfriend agrees with a quick nod and a "Yeah, yeah")
H: I bet you still live alon- don't tell me you are still single!"
M: "Well, yeah. Time and money are virtually unlimited, there's nothing to complain about this lifestyle."
(girlfriend looks mildly offended)
H: "You wouldn't understand! You've never had someone to share your days with."
(Is that my fault? I consider myself an unintelligent dumbfuck and finding people who are mildly interesting is pretty fucking hard. Also, what kind of brainwashing have you been through? What's with those awfully cheesy sayings?)
M: "Of course not, I'm considerate enough not to bore other people to death with my endless ramblings about computers."
H: "Haha, don't say that, I'm pretty sure there's someone out there for you."
M: "I'm not trying to be mean, but I'm real fucking sick of that line. How many times have I told you I don't find permanent company enjoyable? Living alone and having all the time I want for myself is what I've always wanted ever since I was very young and I'm not giving it up after I've come this far."
H: "You're saying that because you're feeling lonely. Don't worry, it's not that uncommon to rationalize your situation, especially at your age. Believe me, you wouldn't want to go back to being single after you find someone you genuinely enjoy spending your time with."

Trying not to start a pointless argument at someone else's place, I laugh it off and propose we play something after we're done having lunch, on the excuse that "it's not that uncommon to become a little faggot at games, especially after you find a girlfriend". I was expecting his girlfriend to get mad and him to laugh, but instead they both laughed like monkeys. After finishing our lunch, I gave his girlfriend a honest compliment for her cooking skills, thanked both of them for the meal and went straight for his PS3. I spotted a brand new copy of some Call of Duty game,

M: "What about this one? Seems like neither of us have played this game before and it'd be nice to see if it really is catered for 12 year olds."
H: "Haha, yeah, I wouldn't play that game by myself, I bought it hoping I could play it with someone else."
M: "You haven't even peeled off the cover. Have you not played this with her?"
(you can read "shit, I totally forgot about her" on his face)
H: "Uh, she doesn't like that kind of games. (...) How about Little Big Planet?"
M: "Uh... okay."
("yay" in the background)

Thinking it would be a boring game for children, I was surprised after having some legitimate fun with it, though it's not my favorite kind of game and I was progressively getting bored. Seems like he was getting bored of it too, though his girlfriend was still brimming with enthusiasm. Which is funny because she was pretty bad at the game.

-- cont
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Name: Anonymous 2015-05-11 12:19

>>560
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU QUOTING?!

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-11 13:31

>>561
* whom

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-12 8:43

>>559,560
Whom are you quoting?

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-12 11:56

>>563
You know when I read your post it bothered me a bit, and I first thought it was simply because you are retarded and gay, but it is not just that. It is not just because your moronic faggotry is wrong, but also because the wrongness itself is unprovable in any meaningful way. All evidence pointing towards stupid faggot = bad is circumstantial and does little in actually proving the claim...

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-12 22:43

nice fabrication

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-13 1:02

someone summarize this thread for me

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-13 1:05

>>566
It's shit.

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-13 1:18

>>566
It's dubs.

Name: Anomalous 2015-05-13 1:51

>>567
nice seqs m8

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-16 1:29

Hey OP, ever considered printing your works? I'd buy the hardcover edition.

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-16 2:35

>>570
Fag.

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-21 3:56

>>568,569

I demand a real summarization.

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-21 12:36

>>572
I demand you bend over.

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-21 21:07

>>573

If I do, will you summarize it?

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-22 0:55

>>574
Summarize my anus

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-22 1:31

>>574
I read the whole story. Give me a second, I'll summarize it.

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-22 1:46

>>576
No, don't bother. I actually already read it and found it to suck ass.

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-22 2:56

Shamelessly stolen from >>200-san:

EXECUTIVE REPORT
* Nigger is autistic
* Nigger loves the Touhous
* Friend of nigger, girlfriend of friend and nigger have lunch together
* Girlfiend acts retarded
* Nigger gets mad because he doesn't understand why relationships exist

* Nigger decides he wants to get a gf to see what it's like

* Nigger goes to weeaboo con
* Nigger meets weeaboo Touhou cosplaying girl and car autist girl
* Nigger is friends with cosplaying girl and car autist girl

* Nigger gets close to cosplaying girl
* Nigger gets even closer to cosplaying girl
* Nigger dumps cosplaying girl

* Nigger hangs out with car autist
* Car autist is dumped by boyfriend
* Nigger gets closer to car autist
* Car autist goes back to her home for a while

* Nigger buys onahole
* Nigger thinks his onahole is better than any real girl

* Nigger goes to Linux users meetup
* Nigger meets girl who's also into the Rubik's cube, though she is much more serious about it than Nigger
* Nigger feels annoyed by Cube girl's burning passion for cubes
* Nigger rejects Cube girl (Does he? That's what I understood)

Probably the most amusing part of the story:
* Nigger is forced to hit da clubz with his friends he met at the Linux meetup
* Nigger doesn't have fun at da club
* Slut hits on Nigger
* Nigger avoids Slut but she is persistent
* Nigger is kike'd and ends up in a love hotel with Slut without knowing it
* Nigger is ``raped'' by Slut

* Nigger attends programmer meetup
* Nigger meets rich programmer girl with a game programming studio
* Programmer shows interest in Nigger's skills and hires him as a freelance sysadmin (I think)
* Programmer turns out to be alcoholic
* Programmer gets drunk and makes out with him, presumably because she's fucked in the head
* Youmu saves the day and stops Nigger from going any further
* Programmer doesn't seem to remember anything
* Nigger doesn't work for Programmer anymore

* Nigger hires Hooker 1
* Nigger doesn't like Hooker 1
* Nigger hires Hooker 2
* Nigger is okay with Hooker 2
* Nigger hires Hooker 3
* Nigger is a bit more than okay with Hooker 3

* Car autist comes back from her trip
* Nigger insists Youmu, the onahole and the dakimakura are all he'll ever need
* The End

The complete story sans shitposting:
>>1,7,8,16,18,24,40,44,47,54,59,84,86,116,118,153,161,162,164,165,185,186,198,199,217,253,290,296,339,355,414,418,457,462,479

The other posts are either Nigger's ramblings, a reddit/g/ro bragging about his alphaness, a ``saging'' imageboarder, shitposting and additional commentary.

I enjoyed reading this thread and suggest you to do the same.

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-22 4:59

>>578
I enjoyed reading this thread
... That's fucked up, dude.

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-22 14:01

>>577,579
It's okay if you insist on ``saging'' this thread, /g/ro.

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-22 14:19

>>557
SOMEONE HOLD ME DOWN I'M ABOUT TO HIT A PRESCRIPTIVIST RIGHT IN THE FUCKING FACE

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-23 22:59

>>581

*holds you down and fucks your anus*

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-24 16:40

>>581
Someone carry this drunken lumpen out of here, he puked all over the floor then bled after I had to quiet him.

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-24 17:54

so much shitposting

Name: Anonymous 2015-07-30 18:03

so, did OP die?

Name: Anonymous 2015-07-30 18:37

>>585
Hopefully!

Name: Anonymous 2015-07-30 20:43

sage

Name: Anonymous 2015-07-30 21:25

>>534
No, it's grammatically correct, now fuck off with your idiocy.

Name: Anonymous 2015-07-30 22:02

sage

Name: Anonymous 2015-07-30 22:35

sageing...

Name: Anonymous 2015-07-31 2:28

sage

Name: Anonymous 2015-07-31 17:49

>>589-591
Back to the imageboards with your sage down/b/oat, please.

Name: Anonymous 2015-07-31 22:24

sage

Name: LIFE WITH YOUMU 2015-08-17 2:36

LIFE WITH YOUMU
http://i.imgur.com/4GwD4BM.png

mailto:LIFE%20WITH%20YOUMU

Name: Anonymous 2015-08-17 2:39

>>594
Terrible meme.

Name: Anonymous 2015-08-17 2:43

>>595
That's not a meme. Not everything you see on the Internet is a meme, retard.

Name: Anonymous 2015-08-17 3:28

>>596
It is a meme. It's some terrible art by some terrible western artist whose every single work is a terrible meme. Everything on it, the art style, the content, the written lines, are all memes of exceptionally bad quality. SO fuck off back to your imagereddit and take that awful back with you.

Name: Anonymous 2015-08-17 4:34

>>594
GTFO weeb goy cuck nigger

Name: Anonymous 2015-08-17 6:54

>>1
I fucking hate all of you for making me waste my time.
Thanks, it's mutual.

Name: Anonymous 2015-08-17 20:18

>>598
cuck
epic maymay /g/ro

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