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Neurotypical idiots

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-20 2:39

I fucking hate all of you for making me waste my time.

After graduating from university, I still was a virgin. Some of my ex-classmates I was kinda close with kept bugging me about my "distant, cold and aloof personality". They don't understand it's plain boring to spend your time with people who are majoring on computer engineering, yet still don't know how to install a Linux distro or make a basic IRC client in C. Because of this, interaction between us consisted of calling me whenever they wanted to play a multiplayer game or had a problem with their pirated software running on shitty hardware. Telling them outright to fuck off wasn't a good idea because university forces you to do group homework and making enemies is never a good idea, no matter where you are.

Now for the relevant part. Since we all grew out of university and went on with our lives, many of them followed the usual trend of getting a job, buying a car, finding a girlfriend and becoming utterly bitter faggots. One of my ex-classmates called me, said he's wondering how I've been doing and invited me over to his place. Trying not to be an asshole, I accepted his invitation and had a long conversation while we were having lunch. The lunch his girlfriend had prepared for all three of us.

Him: "How's life going for you?"
Me: "Got a job for a small company that works with embedded devices. Been writing some simple drivers and helping them with their Linux servers and stuff because they don't have any sysadmins yet. What about you?"
H: "Found a job at a company that makes software for other bigger companies. It's been pretty hard on me but I'm doing this for the both of us."
(starts staring at his girlfriend, she giggles and they kiss)
H: "I suppose you already found someone to give meaning to your life."
(first thought that comes to my head is that of my favorite Touhou, then I realize how gay he sounds)
M: "No, you know I'm not the kind of person to spend my time with others."
H: "Awww! Come on, aren't you a bit too old for that?"
(girlfriend agrees with a quick nod and a "Yeah, yeah")
H: I bet you still live alon- don't tell me you are still single!"
M: "Well, yeah. Time and money are virtually unlimited, there's nothing to complain about this lifestyle."
(girlfriend looks mildly offended)
H: "You wouldn't understand! You've never had someone to share your days with."
(Is that my fault? I consider myself an unintelligent dumbfuck and finding people who are mildly interesting is pretty fucking hard. Also, what kind of brainwashing have you been through? What's with those awfully cheesy sayings?)
M: "Of course not, I'm considerate enough not to bore other people to death with my endless ramblings about computers."
H: "Haha, don't say that, I'm pretty sure there's someone out there for you."
M: "I'm not trying to be mean, but I'm real fucking sick of that line. How many times have I told you I don't find permanent company enjoyable? Living alone and having all the time I want for myself is what I've always wanted ever since I was very young and I'm not giving it up after I've come this far."
H: "You're saying that because you're feeling lonely. Don't worry, it's not that uncommon to rationalize your situation, especially at your age. Believe me, you wouldn't want to go back to being single after you find someone you genuinely enjoy spending your time with."

Trying not to start a pointless argument at someone else's place, I laugh it off and propose we play something after we're done having lunch, on the excuse that "it's not that uncommon to become a little faggot at games, especially after you find a girlfriend". I was expecting his girlfriend to get mad and him to laugh, but instead they both laughed like monkeys. After finishing our lunch, I gave his girlfriend a honest compliment for her cooking skills, thanked both of them for the meal and went straight for his PS3. I spotted a brand new copy of some Call of Duty game,

M: "What about this one? Seems like neither of us have played this game before and it'd be nice to see if it really is catered for 12 year olds."
H: "Haha, yeah, I wouldn't play that game by myself, I bought it hoping I could play it with someone else."
M: "You haven't even peeled off the cover. Have you not played this with her?"
(you can read "shit, I totally forgot about her" on his face)
H: "Uh, she doesn't like that kind of games. (...) How about Little Big Planet?"
M: "Uh... okay."
("yay" in the background)

Thinking it would be a boring game for children, I was surprised after having some legitimate fun with it, though it's not my favorite kind of game and I was progressively getting bored. Seems like he was getting bored of it too, though his girlfriend was still brimming with enthusiasm. Which is funny because she was pretty bad at the game.

-- cont
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Name: Anonymous 2016-06-09 0:57

bumping to >>888

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-09 0:58

bumping to >>888

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-09 0:58

bumping to >>888

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-09 0:58

bumping to >>888

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-09 0:58

bumping to >>888

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-09 0:58

bumping to >>888

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-09 0:59

bumping to >>888

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-09 0:59

bumping to >>888

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-09 0:59

>>888
sweet trips bro

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-09 2:28

Admin, please ban the bumpcuck dubsfag posting >>870-889

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-09 3:14

>>890
That was the admin. Nobody else could flood like that because they would get autobanned.

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-09 4:19

>>891
Pathetic. Somebody needs to ban admin.

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-09 15:24

>>869
I will stop bumping once you tell me where I can buy a Youmu!

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-09 16:24

>>893
You will stop bumping once this thread hits 1001.

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-09 16:40

>>893
Syria.

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-09 17:50

>>894
I'll make a copy with the exact same posts.

>>895
Youmu is not a sandnigger!

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-09 22:07

sage

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-09 23:51

if this thread doesn't start autosaging soon I don't know what I will say.

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-10 0:59

>>896
Real Assyrians aren't sandniggers. Those subhumans are actually slaves that they brought from Arabia millennia ago. When the Persians and Syrians ran the Muslim world with their whiter skin, they had a golden age. When it was left to Muhammad's shitskin brethren, they fall into darkness.

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-10 1:29

>>898
``Autosaging''? This your first day on textboards?

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-10 2:51

>>900
No?

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-10 3:01

>>900
Faggot quotes? Is this your first day out of the closet?

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-10 7:01

   / ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄\
   |. TRUMP2016 \
   |_______|
   |∴\_____/
   |∵∴(・)∴∴.(・)∴|
   |∵∵∵/ ○\∵|      / ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
   |∵∵ /三 | 三| |     < What's even going on here?
   |∵∵ | __|__ | |      \____________
    \∵ |  === .|/
   / \|___/\
  │ ∴∵━━○━∴│         
  │∵∴/___\: |
   | :/∵|  \_/ ||_|
   ○ |∴ \____/ |_)
     |∵∴∵Λ∵∴/
    ( ̄ ̄ ̄)( ̄ ̄)

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-10 7:32

>>903
sage

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-10 7:37

>>904
q(´ω`)↓sage↓

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-10 9:48

I like lolis.

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-10 11:46

sage

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-10 15:38

I like lolis too.

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-10 19:23

My feelings about lolis make me uncomfortable and a little confused, so sage.

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-10 20:54

My feelings about lolis make me uncomfortable and a little confused, so age.

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-10 21:30

>>910
That pun was Reddit quality!

Good luck working out your sexuality I guess, but still sah-ghey.

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-10 22:28

sage

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-10 23:31

I do things like step in a taxi and say, "The library, and step on it."

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-11 0:17

I do things like step on a taxi and say "gao."

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-11 0:59

My feelings about lolis make me comfortable and a little reassured, so age.

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-11 2:24

>>911
What pun? I don't see any pun there, unless you don't know what age means in the context of textboards.

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-11 2:38

>>916
That is not its only meaning, and multiple meanings are the basis of a pun.

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-11 3:01

>>916
The pun is based on the ambigious interpretation of the word ``age''.

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-11 3:24

>>918
Oh, I get it now! Still gonna sage tho, bro xD

Name: Anonymous 2016-06-11 15:13

>>919
epic xD

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