Name: Anonymous 2017-10-31 3:17
I used to be so mad at the Jews. Before I began this spiral into hatred I had thought the term "butthurt" was just a meme, but often I would be sitting there stewing in how much I hated Jews and I'd get so mad I could, indeed, feel a strong throbbing pain in my butt.
I mention this not for pity, but to illustrate just how mad and sad I was. A truly pathetic creature, consumed with spite and hate. But the truth is, I wasn't even mad at the Jews deep down, I was mad at myself. The Jews, being generally so successful and intelligent, were simply the target I had chosen to rage against my own lack of success and poor intelligence.
I was a coward, to put it bluntly. I was mad at Jews, calling them all kinds of names online, because I was scared to admit that it was I who was the failure and shithead. But the realization that Jews were literally chosen by God, while I was acting like lowly jealous cattle hit me suddenly, causing me to double up in the pain of embarrassment.
After my realization, everything became so clear and my shame was compounded by the fact that my friends and family must have seen this obvious truth of my attempts to deflect from my own failures the whole time. The memories of their pitying smiles while I laughably tried to "red pill" them stung worse than ever at that moment. But I pulled through and after a few months of avoiding trigger-websites I feel confident enough to come clean on my awakening and make this post.
I believe many people here are going through similar attempts to deflect their self-hatred onto Jews. I hope this post has made you see there are other ways to deal with your lack of success.
I mention this not for pity, but to illustrate just how mad and sad I was. A truly pathetic creature, consumed with spite and hate. But the truth is, I wasn't even mad at the Jews deep down, I was mad at myself. The Jews, being generally so successful and intelligent, were simply the target I had chosen to rage against my own lack of success and poor intelligence.
I was a coward, to put it bluntly. I was mad at Jews, calling them all kinds of names online, because I was scared to admit that it was I who was the failure and shithead. But the realization that Jews were literally chosen by God, while I was acting like lowly jealous cattle hit me suddenly, causing me to double up in the pain of embarrassment.
After my realization, everything became so clear and my shame was compounded by the fact that my friends and family must have seen this obvious truth of my attempts to deflect from my own failures the whole time. The memories of their pitying smiles while I laughably tried to "red pill" them stung worse than ever at that moment. But I pulled through and after a few months of avoiding trigger-websites I feel confident enough to come clean on my awakening and make this post.
I believe many people here are going through similar attempts to deflect their self-hatred onto Jews. I hope this post has made you see there are other ways to deal with your lack of success.