Name: Anonymous 2018-01-30 22:25
People keep asking about "austismbux" or "NEET Nirvana" and the response is always "go read Uncle Remus' Guide". Since the guide is only hosted on archive sites, it makes sense to upload a copy everywhere since the archive may one day go down.
*an old black man approaches*
why hello deh lil man
i been heah a lil while now and lawdy do i see alot of you axin how to get on da SSI. Well now if you jus' sit over yonder ill tell you how i done it and how you can get it dones too! Guaranteed!
foist thang you gots to do is
1. study on up on yo "disibility" this mean that you need to decide what yo ailment is gone be and you has to know teh ins and outs so you can start to modify yo behavior to those specificationmins. that way it will appear genuine to the case worker and any quack they send you to.
now if you done has a real problem which if you're a shut in you prob do even better. its still good to be edumicated on what you want to convey so you can receives duh SSI.
2. Get commited. Wassat? Commited? Why Uncle Remus you ol fool! Now now honey child i know you may have some apprehensionation about being commited but this will almost gurantee you done recieves benefits.
Go to your local intake unit. Yo hospital or whateva. Say to the nice lady "i am feelings suicidal and i need help" Them simle words will land you a 72 hour hold known as a 5150. This is whar you are either a harm to yo self or others.
Is dis drastic? It sho hell is. But lawd if you does wanna sponge off the state you sho need a good reason. Why i remember when i applied fo SSI the lady says "Uncle Remus you done been in any psychiatric care for your claim of disibility in the past 5 years" I says
"Oh lawdy i done just got released from a 5150 because i wanted to kill myself"
I was on SSI within 3 months. Receiving full bennies and no bullshit wait time. Being committed will get you further then any sort of boo sheet story you come up with. After the 72 hour hold is up you simply walk out the hospital with a few perscriptions and more importantly PAPER WORK of your sickness.
3. File a Claim
Now alot of folk will tell you SSI is a helluva time to get on. Well now if you don did numba 2 you on the fast lane to financial freedom (or slavery)
Still one must go thru a few things befo old uncle sam hands ovah any amount of money.
Apply to Social Security Disability right after you have been committed. Let dem know you are looking to recieve benefits beacuse you are unable to take care of yo self financially. They will send the proper forms. These forms ask a whole battery of questions but the hardest part is done filling out the STATE REASON FOR DISIBILITY CLAIM STATE. PROOF OF DISABILITY CLAIM
well now if you done did what i done told ya in part 2 you would be whistling dixie. If not make sure you have some sort of medical "proof"...past perscriptions for depression works fine. Yo doctor should have all dis. Dont have that? Still fill it out. I done put everything under the sun cept the heebie jeebies. PSTD, DEPRESSION, PSYCHOSIS. Again i had done studied all these things so i was prepared and informed in case they called me out! So fill out all the forms in they entirety...aint no harm in lyin but make sho you know yo shit.
4. The Process
Now dis is where yall gone have to suck up yo pride and hold on to ya butts. You see how well you filled out the papers will speed up the process of getting approved. If you done it good they should contact you by phone to schedule a walk in appointment. This can be speeded up if you constantly call to check on yo case. Use these moements to sound agitated. To sound like you is crazy!
When yall get yo walk in. Go in like a crazy man. Why i don sat down in teh lobby and started actin a fool right away. Subtle is teh key. I brought a folder with all my scrips, all my forms, all my doctor notes, and then put the folder on the chair. You see i have OCD. So it makes sense to display my behvior in public. Always act as if someone is watching. Cuz suga they probably is!
When called in to speak to yo case worker. Act aloof, dispondant, anxious. Repeat words, wring your hands...DONT SHAKE HER.HIS HAND...and if you do wipe your hands on your pants before and after. All this stuff is taken in. All this stuff tells them "THIS BOY IS SHO CRAZY!" hell we aint even got to the interview. They will go over your forms and a bunch of mumbo jumbo. At some point they will say "So you believe you cannot work?"
"Why...i want to...i like to work...but when im at work my *symptoms really kick in...i dont wanna be on SSI forever...i just need to really focus on getting healthy...because im having a real tough time. I was done reading about your back to wrok program and i can see myself doin something like taht in a few years."
Back to work? What that. Well if ya done read the SSI site and FAQ youd done know! Showing that you are some what informed will let this bitch know you are serious bout *getting better!
We don't wanna get better tho do we Uncle Remus?
WELL OF COURSE NOT. Thing is the state doesnt wanna give moey to flagrant free loaders. If you show some initiative towards getting "healthy" you stand a much better chance of receiving aide.
hang around cuz there are only 2-3 parts left
OK Niggerspeak off. If the interview goes well the bleeding heart case worker will empathize with your plight. She will recommend you see a doctor...no, not your doctor...THE SSI DOCTOR. This is the man who determines if you should receive benefits.
Final boss fight.
This interview is usually held in a separate location a few weeks from the first interview at the social security office. The doc will take you thru a simple question and answer and then finally a sort off... aptitude test.
If you have followed my instructions you should have no trouble defeating him. All your training will determine your success.
Just remember to exhibit the symptoms. After all...
YOU ARE SICK. This is the realization i came too as i stood outside the office. What kind of fucking 'normal' person would go thru this manipulation and acts of self humiliation just to avoid working? A scum bag. A deviant. Sure criminals scam the system all the time. Problem is they continue to do it and a year down the road they are caught doing something dumb like shoplifting and are dropped from their SSI. So if you recieve the bennies. Be cool. Dont go wild. Dont break the law. Lay low.
What i find funny about this whole thing is the fact
The time off has really given me chance for self reflection. SSI can help you sustain a NEET lifestyle but eventually it can also give you that extra kick to start helping yourself. Good luck.
Yes. Obviously i didnt go into the full history of my own case. I did have a strong foundation to work from.
Any kind of documentation is helpful. You dont need to see a paid psych doc. Just make sure you have some sor to fo validation from someone in a position to make such an assesment. Your personal physician should be able to perscribe anti depressants and anti anxiety meds. It's simply a matter of swallowing your pride for 30 minutes and telling him you have issues.
My suggestion of self commitment is based on the common problem of being given the run around by state workers. No matter what the media says they dont just hand it out to anyone. The process is made so people give up. Having documentation is killer in getting a "hearing". (ths is what they call seeing a case worker in a cubicle btw) Having yourself commited is just that kinda gold star VIP backstage pass. It says "holy shit this guy IS fucked up"
I know it can be scary i can try and give some tips on how to deal.
I realize its hard to do anything if youre a shut in.
Whats funny is before i got on SSI. I wasn't one. It's been 6 years now! Slowly i have been doing things. Covert night maneuvers and what not. The one saving grace i have is the monthly check. It's really worth it to TRY. This one thing can set you up for life.
$1000 a month, reduced housing, free healthcare, medical, dental, vision goes a long way.
Suck it up. This is your money! It's there to help unfortunates like us. So use it or lose it.
It seems to fluctiate. in the beggining i recieve 639 then it went up to 800 then $1000. Now i get around $938 but i budget well and have a savings so i round it up.
$1000 is not alot you are right. The one thing i have is living at home. If i wanted i could get subsidized housing.rent vouchers.housing assitence. Food stamps are vailble too but i never bothered with them. TBH living like this helped me get healthy physically with a low cost high protien diet. Tuna is cheap, eggs are cheap, whole wheat bread is cheap.
A few tips i forgot. Budget your money. Write everything down from games to dvds and learn to stretch a dollar.
Keep excellent records!
Keep NO records.
I have not used a personal account for any major purchases like HDTVs, PS3, etc etc. Why? Well sometimes the state sends you a letter aasking you to show your last bank statement. It looks awful fishy having Bang Bros and AMAZON.COM all over teh place. Pay with cash. Funnel funds thru your parents accounts by writing a check to them every month. I have no paper trail of all the lavish shit i buy. Eventually you will get the hang of when these infrequent requests come to your mailbox. Then you can carefully maneuver your big purchases. This is helpful if you wanna build your credit up or something.
Live lean for a few checks. I have several grand stashed just in case.
*an old black man approaches*
why hello deh lil man
i been heah a lil while now and lawdy do i see alot of you axin how to get on da SSI. Well now if you jus' sit over yonder ill tell you how i done it and how you can get it dones too! Guaranteed!
foist thang you gots to do is
1. study on up on yo "disibility" this mean that you need to decide what yo ailment is gone be and you has to know teh ins and outs so you can start to modify yo behavior to those specificationmins. that way it will appear genuine to the case worker and any quack they send you to.
now if you done has a real problem which if you're a shut in you prob do even better. its still good to be edumicated on what you want to convey so you can receives duh SSI.
2. Get commited. Wassat? Commited? Why Uncle Remus you ol fool! Now now honey child i know you may have some apprehensionation about being commited but this will almost gurantee you done recieves benefits.
Go to your local intake unit. Yo hospital or whateva. Say to the nice lady "i am feelings suicidal and i need help" Them simle words will land you a 72 hour hold known as a 5150. This is whar you are either a harm to yo self or others.
Is dis drastic? It sho hell is. But lawd if you does wanna sponge off the state you sho need a good reason. Why i remember when i applied fo SSI the lady says "Uncle Remus you done been in any psychiatric care for your claim of disibility in the past 5 years" I says
"Oh lawdy i done just got released from a 5150 because i wanted to kill myself"
I was on SSI within 3 months. Receiving full bennies and no bullshit wait time. Being committed will get you further then any sort of boo sheet story you come up with. After the 72 hour hold is up you simply walk out the hospital with a few perscriptions and more importantly PAPER WORK of your sickness.
3. File a Claim
Now alot of folk will tell you SSI is a helluva time to get on. Well now if you don did numba 2 you on the fast lane to financial freedom (or slavery)
Still one must go thru a few things befo old uncle sam hands ovah any amount of money.
Apply to Social Security Disability right after you have been committed. Let dem know you are looking to recieve benefits beacuse you are unable to take care of yo self financially. They will send the proper forms. These forms ask a whole battery of questions but the hardest part is done filling out the STATE REASON FOR DISIBILITY CLAIM STATE. PROOF OF DISABILITY CLAIM
well now if you done did what i done told ya in part 2 you would be whistling dixie. If not make sure you have some sort of medical "proof"...past perscriptions for depression works fine. Yo doctor should have all dis. Dont have that? Still fill it out. I done put everything under the sun cept the heebie jeebies. PSTD, DEPRESSION, PSYCHOSIS. Again i had done studied all these things so i was prepared and informed in case they called me out! So fill out all the forms in they entirety...aint no harm in lyin but make sho you know yo shit.
4. The Process
Now dis is where yall gone have to suck up yo pride and hold on to ya butts. You see how well you filled out the papers will speed up the process of getting approved. If you done it good they should contact you by phone to schedule a walk in appointment. This can be speeded up if you constantly call to check on yo case. Use these moements to sound agitated. To sound like you is crazy!
When yall get yo walk in. Go in like a crazy man. Why i don sat down in teh lobby and started actin a fool right away. Subtle is teh key. I brought a folder with all my scrips, all my forms, all my doctor notes, and then put the folder on the chair. You see i have OCD. So it makes sense to display my behvior in public. Always act as if someone is watching. Cuz suga they probably is!
When called in to speak to yo case worker. Act aloof, dispondant, anxious. Repeat words, wring your hands...DONT SHAKE HER.HIS HAND...and if you do wipe your hands on your pants before and after. All this stuff is taken in. All this stuff tells them "THIS BOY IS SHO CRAZY!" hell we aint even got to the interview. They will go over your forms and a bunch of mumbo jumbo. At some point they will say "So you believe you cannot work?"
"Why...i want to...i like to work...but when im at work my *symptoms really kick in...i dont wanna be on SSI forever...i just need to really focus on getting healthy...because im having a real tough time. I was done reading about your back to wrok program and i can see myself doin something like taht in a few years."
Back to work? What that. Well if ya done read the SSI site and FAQ youd done know! Showing that you are some what informed will let this bitch know you are serious bout *getting better!
We don't wanna get better tho do we Uncle Remus?
WELL OF COURSE NOT. Thing is the state doesnt wanna give moey to flagrant free loaders. If you show some initiative towards getting "healthy" you stand a much better chance of receiving aide.
hang around cuz there are only 2-3 parts left
OK Niggerspeak off. If the interview goes well the bleeding heart case worker will empathize with your plight. She will recommend you see a doctor...no, not your doctor...THE SSI DOCTOR. This is the man who determines if you should receive benefits.
Final boss fight.
This interview is usually held in a separate location a few weeks from the first interview at the social security office. The doc will take you thru a simple question and answer and then finally a sort off... aptitude test.
If you have followed my instructions you should have no trouble defeating him. All your training will determine your success.
Just remember to exhibit the symptoms. After all...
YOU ARE SICK. This is the realization i came too as i stood outside the office. What kind of fucking 'normal' person would go thru this manipulation and acts of self humiliation just to avoid working? A scum bag. A deviant. Sure criminals scam the system all the time. Problem is they continue to do it and a year down the road they are caught doing something dumb like shoplifting and are dropped from their SSI. So if you recieve the bennies. Be cool. Dont go wild. Dont break the law. Lay low.
What i find funny about this whole thing is the fact
The time off has really given me chance for self reflection. SSI can help you sustain a NEET lifestyle but eventually it can also give you that extra kick to start helping yourself. Good luck.
Yes. Obviously i didnt go into the full history of my own case. I did have a strong foundation to work from.
Any kind of documentation is helpful. You dont need to see a paid psych doc. Just make sure you have some sor to fo validation from someone in a position to make such an assesment. Your personal physician should be able to perscribe anti depressants and anti anxiety meds. It's simply a matter of swallowing your pride for 30 minutes and telling him you have issues.
My suggestion of self commitment is based on the common problem of being given the run around by state workers. No matter what the media says they dont just hand it out to anyone. The process is made so people give up. Having documentation is killer in getting a "hearing". (ths is what they call seeing a case worker in a cubicle btw) Having yourself commited is just that kinda gold star VIP backstage pass. It says "holy shit this guy IS fucked up"
I know it can be scary i can try and give some tips on how to deal.
I realize its hard to do anything if youre a shut in.
Whats funny is before i got on SSI. I wasn't one. It's been 6 years now! Slowly i have been doing things. Covert night maneuvers and what not. The one saving grace i have is the monthly check. It's really worth it to TRY. This one thing can set you up for life.
$1000 a month, reduced housing, free healthcare, medical, dental, vision goes a long way.
Suck it up. This is your money! It's there to help unfortunates like us. So use it or lose it.
It seems to fluctiate. in the beggining i recieve 639 then it went up to 800 then $1000. Now i get around $938 but i budget well and have a savings so i round it up.
$1000 is not alot you are right. The one thing i have is living at home. If i wanted i could get subsidized housing.rent vouchers.housing assitence. Food stamps are vailble too but i never bothered with them. TBH living like this helped me get healthy physically with a low cost high protien diet. Tuna is cheap, eggs are cheap, whole wheat bread is cheap.
A few tips i forgot. Budget your money. Write everything down from games to dvds and learn to stretch a dollar.
Keep excellent records!
Keep NO records.
I have not used a personal account for any major purchases like HDTVs, PS3, etc etc. Why? Well sometimes the state sends you a letter aasking you to show your last bank statement. It looks awful fishy having Bang Bros and AMAZON.COM all over teh place. Pay with cash. Funnel funds thru your parents accounts by writing a check to them every month. I have no paper trail of all the lavish shit i buy. Eventually you will get the hang of when these infrequent requests come to your mailbox. Then you can carefully maneuver your big purchases. This is helpful if you wanna build your credit up or something.
Live lean for a few checks. I have several grand stashed just in case.