Proposal: poastlang, Turing-complete shitposts

poastlang is a new systems programming language that uses repetitive shitposts and meme phrases as language constructs. A simple database, which may be maintained separately from any implementation in a distributed manner, maps memes to syntax trees with a pattern matching DSL. The frontend compiler uses state of the art NLP to deduce shitposts from context where possible. poastlang core is thus virtually syntax-free and future proof by design.

Example:

hax my anus
check em
until I FUCKING LOVE Jews

roughly translates to the following C code:
#include <stdio.h>
int main() {
int i = 0;
for(;; i++) {
if((i%100)%11 == 0) {
printf("%d\n", i);
}
}
return 0;
}

Hi, my name is Matt. I'm a journalist for BuzzFeed. I'm doing a piece on obscure internet communities, and I'm wondering if anyone here would like to reach out for an interview. Our readers are interested in quirky, dated websites like this one which appear to cater to the senior citizen community. You can hit me up on Twitter @mattstopera.

- Matt