Proposal: poastlang, Turing-complete shitposts

poastlang is a new systems programming language that uses repetitive shitposts and meme phrases as language constructs. A simple database, which may be maintained separately from any implementation in a distributed manner, maps memes to syntax trees with a pattern matching DSL. The frontend compiler uses state of the art NLP to deduce shitposts from context where possible. poastlang core is thus virtually syntax-free and future proof by design.

Example:

hax my anus
check em
until I FUCKING LOVE Jews

roughly translates to the following C code:
#include <stdio.h>
int main() {
int i = 0;
for(;; i++) {
if((i%100)%11 == 0) {
printf("%d\n", i);
}
}
return 0;
}

Ohello /lounge, my name is Chips Handon. I always like to lork at tinycham and I also like mumblenuts too, as you do. DASU DASU LOL. I also like having sex with underage children (HOES DON'T KNOW ABOUT MY DICK), shop the wops, do a battle roll and i just lost the match. Due to the fact that i'm not a noobfag i know that /anus/ is in posession of a great variety of "PC", at least those of you that aren't underage b%. in a nutshell, I need Anomalous to deliver to an Astrafaglian /re/tard some of his "PC" (you know what i mean LOL). ROW ROW ROW THE BOAT. PLEASE DONT MAGE THIS THRED IT IS NOT COPYPIZZA, BUT ORIGINAL COMMENT.