>>69Thats doesn't make sense, let me describe my experience.
When i talk in my mind, mentally discussing and speculating, i don't send commands.
I don't "see" the mental voice of thoughts as "my decision"(voices don't decide), that is several steps later - the voice is used to depict my thoughts and to recall information to the forefront of my mind. The voice is like a neutral narrator trying to depict thoughts loaded from memory or constructed by the central processor.
1.It looks like a mental chatroom, not a command&control mechanism.
2.pre-thoughts are filtered before vocalizations. I cannot vocalize them even if i wanted, only few("leads") of these get focused on on.
4.The candidate("leads") thoughts are vocalized, described and depicted in the mind. They are judged and values are applied to get a complete mental picture - visual/aural memory is referenced.
5.Mental dialogue(or monologue?) begins, i argue against/for decisions, adding more of thoughts from steps #2,3,4.
There is always doubt and i have to reference memory to support arguments.
6.Decision is made. Its not final, as i try to refute it or make sure i'm not doing a mistake(then i revert back to arguing mentally to step #5)
7.Next round of mental chatter.
Interestingly when i chant specific mantras i could slip into "thought-less" mode, where i can observe lower-level reactive pre-thoughts which are normally filtered.
In meditation, i can't filter it(like the NPC), but its unlikely its a NPC state, as i still control the mind(Accepting the thoughts as my own, but not acting on them and believing in them as my own) and can direct its attention(e.g. ignoring or ridiculing each and every thought i don't like). Thoughts are mere tools, not expressions or commands to be executed blind.
Are NPCs uncapable of ignoring/resisting or filtering thoughts? Like a chatroom without moderation, without filters, without control?