Name: Anonymous 2018-12-08 3:53
[Untitled absurdist psychedelic horror story]
I ache with anticipation. So many years have gone into planning and preparing this final moment: my magnum opus. I unzip my custom-made pants, sporting extra material to accommodate my massive bulge. "ALLAHU ACKBAR," I shout, as I detonate my gargantuan testicles. My wasp family -- all 7,000 of them -- are finally free from their flesh prison. They descend upon the townsfolk. While picking up my scrotal remains, I can hear villagers screaming. My work here is done. I leave satisfied. I smile, revealing my hundreds of very thin teeth, which have begun to grow even longer than normal.
The wasps are not stinging people. Oh no, that would be too easy. Instead, they are whispering people's most extreme insecurities into their ears, oscillating continuously as they do so. People's self-doubt and anxiety increases exponentially. Kurt Cobain's ghost appears before me. He gently kisses me on the cheek. "Thank you. I can finally be at peace," he whispers, before fading away again.
"That's a pretty fucked up story, chief! Sääll zetel'vorp shagashana el'bitsuo!" you exclaim from the distance. You don't know what that incantation meant, but you blurted it out involuntarily. Some dark energy emanating deep inside you forced you to say it. Everything starts to vibrate wildly, and then you fall through the ground, which is apparently just a hollow facade to begin with. Everything is melting. Eventually, the melty and mucous-like remains of reality morph into brilliantly colorful fractals. Everything has a metallic taste to it. The entire universe has turned into Mandelbrots and triangles. I no longer exist. The town no longer exists. The townsfolk are gone too. Only you are left.
An invisible audience begins to clap. Their claps are like gunshots to your ears. You are in agony -- but only psychologically. "No! Please stop! I only want to hear soft ambient soundscapes!" The clapping halts reluctantly and it is replaced by procedurally-generated music that sounds vaguely like Shpongle.
The fractals fade into darkness. You continue to fall into the endless void, but there is a strangely soothing calmness to it all, as you are safe and comfortable now, and in no risk of getting hurt. Eventually, a platform begins to materialize beneath you. It's essentially an elevator with no doors. You continue to descend into the nothingness, going deeper and deeper down. But you are now securely situated on the platform elevator. You try to get up and walk around, but your movements are extremely slow. Your teeth begin to fall out. You desperately try to pick them up, but they're falling out too quickly, and a nuclear wind blows them off the platform. You contemplate chasing after them, but that would mean leaving the safety of Mother Elevator.
You open a terminal window in front of you to check on some things and make sure you're still okay. But then you run the
Maggots crawl up from the bottom side of Mother Platform. You have lost her trust and respect. The maggots crawl all over you and devour you. You are being digested by tiny animals. This is what you deserve for being so incompetent.
You finally lose your form and revert back into pure energy. The platform, now lacking the will to live and no longer being able to sustain itself, crumbles away, leaving nothing but a ball of light. Everything else is gone. You are no longer falling, just a stable ball of light energy in an eternal void. Your energy emits a tinnitus-like tone.
I ache with anticipation. So many years have gone into planning and preparing this final moment: my magnum opus. I unzip my custom-made pants, sporting extra material to accommodate my massive bulge. "ALLAHU ACKBAR," I shout, as I detonate my gargantuan testicles. My wasp family -- all 7,000 of them -- are finally free from their flesh prison. They descend upon the townsfolk. While picking up my scrotal remains, I can hear villagers screaming. My work here is done. I leave satisfied. I smile, revealing my hundreds of very thin teeth, which have begun to grow even longer than normal.
The wasps are not stinging people. Oh no, that would be too easy. Instead, they are whispering people's most extreme insecurities into their ears, oscillating continuously as they do so. People's self-doubt and anxiety increases exponentially. Kurt Cobain's ghost appears before me. He gently kisses me on the cheek. "Thank you. I can finally be at peace," he whispers, before fading away again.
"That's a pretty fucked up story, chief! Sääll zetel'vorp shagashana el'bitsuo!" you exclaim from the distance. You don't know what that incantation meant, but you blurted it out involuntarily. Some dark energy emanating deep inside you forced you to say it. Everything starts to vibrate wildly, and then you fall through the ground, which is apparently just a hollow facade to begin with. Everything is melting. Eventually, the melty and mucous-like remains of reality morph into brilliantly colorful fractals. Everything has a metallic taste to it. The entire universe has turned into Mandelbrots and triangles. I no longer exist. The town no longer exists. The townsfolk are gone too. Only you are left.
An invisible audience begins to clap. Their claps are like gunshots to your ears. You are in agony -- but only psychologically. "No! Please stop! I only want to hear soft ambient soundscapes!" The clapping halts reluctantly and it is replaced by procedurally-generated music that sounds vaguely like Shpongle.
The fractals fade into darkness. You continue to fall into the endless void, but there is a strangely soothing calmness to it all, as you are safe and comfortable now, and in no risk of getting hurt. Eventually, a platform begins to materialize beneath you. It's essentially an elevator with no doors. You continue to descend into the nothingness, going deeper and deeper down. But you are now securely situated on the platform elevator. You try to get up and walk around, but your movements are extremely slow. Your teeth begin to fall out. You desperately try to pick them up, but they're falling out too quickly, and a nuclear wind blows them off the platform. You contemplate chasing after them, but that would mean leaving the safety of Mother Elevator.
You open a terminal window in front of you to check on some things and make sure you're still okay. But then you run the
w command and notice something suspicious... it's a reverse root shell, on your brain's operating system! Thousands of heads with pairs of arms spawn around you. You are completely surrounded. They begin laughing at you and pointing their fingers. Tears pour down your cheeks. Everyone's making fun of you because someone exfiltrated all your private data and you didn't even notice until now! It turns out that your soul has a rootkit and you've been utterly pwned by an unknown force. Suddenly, everything becomes extremely cold and you begin to shiver. It's cold enough that you can see your breath. How could you be so foolish? Muffled disembodied voices begin to berate you, but not for long.Maggots crawl up from the bottom side of Mother Platform. You have lost her trust and respect. The maggots crawl all over you and devour you. You are being digested by tiny animals. This is what you deserve for being so incompetent.
You finally lose your form and revert back into pure energy. The platform, now lacking the will to live and no longer being able to sustain itself, crumbles away, leaving nothing but a ball of light. Everything else is gone. You are no longer falling, just a stable ball of light energy in an eternal void. Your energy emits a tinnitus-like tone.