I got a pilonidal cyst

It hurts like hell, I have not been able to sleep in 2 days, the anti-inflammatory/anti-pain med did nothing, I could not penetrate the skin with my blade in order to drain the wound, and my local clinic opens in 3 hours (I will have to make an appointment for later on in the day). Death seems like a really tempting solution to the suffering.

please talk to me, distract me from the pain

Sorry to hear it. But watch this to distract yourself: https://www.stream.me/andywarski

People who sit for prolonged periods of time, such as truck drivers, are at higher risk of developing a pilonidal cyst.

Certain factors can make you more susceptible to developing pilonidal cysts, such as:

Male sex
Younger age (pilonidal cysts are most common in people in their 20s)
Obesity
Inactive lifestyle
Occupation requiring prolonged sitting
Excess body hair
Stiff or coarse hair