I'm still a virgin

I still haven't kissed a woman
I still haven't had sex
I still haven't learned what the touch of a woman feels like

The universe is expanding at an accelerating rate due to the interaction of matter with energy in the universe. We are creating energy for the first time in history. We will expand universe at an accelerating rate, allowing the universe to fill the universe with more energy and expanding the universe at the same time. This will cause an acceleration of the expansion of the universe. The acceleration will cause the earth to be hit the hardest. The earth will be hit by the expansion of the universe when the universe explodes in a cataclysmic event called a cosmic horror.

And you're worried about being a virgin?