Some people don't know how to talk

They treat discussions like a competition, instead of a mutual clarification
If you ask the definition of something they go "hah! you don't know this? then you're a noob and I'm obviously more knowledgeable than you, and thus I have won! now shoo", when maybe you just want to know what is their definition, to compare with yours and clarify what might be your and his misunderstanding

People suck at discussions and don't seem to want anything other than to have the last word and advance their points/agenda -- to win, if you will.

I notice that I tend to be very ^meta about discussions and it seems like people don't 'follow' me when I try to engage in a healthy ^metadiscussion about their discussion behavior.
Is this the result of me being a programmer?

Can I sage here? I don't feel like bumping for this reply.

PS: discussions are inherently emotional, please consider this.