Convince me to use Emacs as a secondary editor

As a vim user, I tried going through the tutorial, and I realized Emacs is a fucking shit editor. The whole Emacs thing (not just the editor) enjoys a lot of popularity, so it must be for a reason. It definitely isn't the keyboard shortcuts, so there must be something else.

org-mode? What's so special about it? What features does it have that make it superior notepad.exe?
Specific programming language modes? There must be something really good that outweighs the C-x x M-x crap.
Does remapping Ctrl to Caps Lock really make a difference? Do you still have to press both keys at the same time, or can you do something like Caps Lock, then x?

I'm mainly interested in C, Lithp, Haskell, TeX and FIOC, so I'd also like to know if there's something damn special in Emacs that's worth using over vim. I plan to use Emacs for the ``powerful'' stuff everyone seems to care about. If eshell or the calculators are good enough, I'm fine with only using those.

>>11
Nope. It looks strange, though. I just want a simple text editor with syntax highlighting and the ability to have multiple tabs and windows inside the terminal (i.e., like Emacs / Vim vertical / horizontal window split, and Vim's tabs).

That's it. Nothing else.

That's why I plan to write my own soon. I've been working on components for it over time, and I'll probably bring them together soon enough.