Haskell

It's pretty much the ultimate programming language.

Functional. Used in the academia. Used in the real world (unlike Lisps). Fast. Scalable. Has lots and lots of libraries. Type inference. Type safety.

>>15
There ain't nothing in the language design to prevent me from writing a goddang Java Virtual Macheeen as a GHC optimization and doing I/O without any goddang burritos, neither. But as the cluster used to say when I typed the password wrong (before that pissy grad student with a stick up her ass complained), ``NO SOAP, HONKY LIPS''