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Girl Programmers

Name: Anonymous 2013-10-13 8:05

Good $(date), /prog/! I'm the Symta guy (Nikita). If you still remember me, you will recall that I've found a programming job, so I've less time for text boards. Yet I promise to finish the Symta and join or start some Lisp OS project.

I also met a beautiful girl. She is a rare girl programmer, graduated from polytechnical university. She is cute, smart and wears glasses (http://minus.com/lwlti63gm5hO4). You wont find another girl like her in Russia, especially Serpukhov.

They only thing I fear is that she Jewish, because she is too smart for a Russian girl and cites Faina Ranevsky. I will kill myself if she is. Help me prog!

Name: Anonymous 2013-10-29 21:03

>>40
Forget it, it's NP-complete.

Name: Anonymous 2013-10-29 21:55

>>41
What is NP-complete? You stupid pseudo-intellectual, we aren't talking about computational complexity here.

Name: Anonymous 2013-10-29 22:42

>>42
He's referring to:
The question is: could this problem be fixed in a way that does not require daily scrutiny from every member of society?
Or
Can a system comprised of individual logical entities regulate itself as a whole and assure fairness without requiring constant input from each of its members?

Reminds me of the network congestion problem. Does anyone have a link to that AI thing that generates TCP flow control algorithms based on constraints?

Name: >>43 2013-10-29 22:44

I found it: http://web.mit.edu/remy/

Reminded me of this.

Name: Anonymous 2013-10-29 23:00

>>43
muh pseudo-intellectual non-existent or applicable in reality game theory lesswrong.com libertarian bullshit

Name: Anonymous 2013-10-29 23:14

>>41-43
stop being quasiscientific; that problem is unformalizable

Name: Anonymous 2013-10-30 0:17

>>45
Don't you ever get tired of being a retard? Banned.

Name: Anonymous 2013-10-30 12:08

>>44
Remy
What will they call the new version? Flan?

Name: Anonymous 2013-10-30 13:08

>>48
Reimu

Name: Anonymous 2013-10-31 1:24

>>48
Flan
Maybe. FLAN, Fast LAN.

Name: Anonymous 2013-10-31 7:50

>>50
And, for use on networks where node reliability is low, Fast LAN with Dynamic Re-Evaluation. It's so fast, it's gonna fly.

Name: Anonymous 2013-11-07 20:14

>>51
It's 1am, we gotta get on the LAN right the fuck now.

Name: Anonymous 2013-11-07 20:17

>>52
Err that was meant to be 2am. Fucking tenkeyless keyboards.

Name: Anonymous 2013-11-08 1:11

I am a girl!

Name: Anonymous 2013-11-08 20:57

>>54
TITS OR GTGO!

Name: Anonymous 2013-12-18 17:23

Hi, /prog/! It is me gain. Despite leaving Serpukhov, I've finally found my girl, which accepts me as I am. She is smart, cute and makes a good company. Here is her photo http://minus.com/i/TK3eFcBCj7px I don't know her stance on Jews, but she is somewhat patriotic.

Regarding the job, I now work as C#/.NET programmer, but they give me retarded SQL assignments, writing queries like http://pastebin.com/kGGaY5L7

One boss says that everything should be done with stored procedures and C# usage minimized, while other boss says we should use ORM. And I'm totally confused what to do and my queries are slow, no matter what approach I use: TSQL recursion or while - everything in SQL is so sloooooow!

Name: Anonymous 2013-12-18 17:34

>>56

Also, I doubt she is Jewish, but she retells Jewish jokes.

Name: ArchiveBot 2013-12-18 18:35

http://pastebin.com/kGGaY5L7


-- ungroup for SQL Server 2005
DECLARE @Table TABLE(id VARCHAR(20), quantity INT)
INSERT INTO @Table SELECT 'foo', 3
INSERT INTO @Table SELECT 'bar', 2

;WITH vals AS (
SELECT *
FROM (SELECT id, quantity FROM @Table) p
UNPIVOT (Cnt FOR Action IN (quantity)) unpvt
WHERE Cnt > 0
)
, Recurs AS (
SELECT id,
Action,
Cnt - 1 Cnt
FROM vals
UNION ALL
SELECT id,
Action,
Cnt - 1 Cnt
FROM Recurs
WHERE Cnt > 0

)
SELECT id,
(SELECT quantity FROM @Table t WHERE Recurs.id = t.id)
TotalQuantity --change this
FROM Recurs
ORDER BY id, action

Name: Anonymous 2013-12-18 19:48

>>56
she's fat.

Name: Anonymous 2013-12-18 19:52

>>59
he's bald.

Name: Anonymous 2013-12-18 21:17

>>60
you're an india-nigger.

Name: Anonymous 2013-12-18 21:51

>>56
I'm glad for you, Nikita.

Name: Anonymous 2013-12-19 15:32

>>59

chubbiness only makes her cutier.

>>62

thank you, bro!

>>58

The final query is much uglier, with a cursor, while loop and a ton of DB indices to speed up "order by".

Name: Anonymous 2013-12-19 15:56

>>63
She's fat and ugly. You have no standards at all.

Name: Anonymous 2013-12-19 16:24

>>64

Being a programmer, I'm fat myself (all programmers are obese). So what?

Name: Anonymous 2013-12-19 19:00

nikita finally lost his virginity (to a land whale). or did he?

Name: Anonymous 2013-12-19 19:57

>>65
Are you also ugly? I know I'm both.

Name: Anonymous 2013-12-20 0:24

>>65
you being fat doesn't mean you have to settle for landwhales

i'd rather be single

Name: Anonymous 2013-12-20 17:32

Who cares? She is cute and I love her.

Name: Anonymous 2013-12-20 22:35

>>69

prove you are nikita and she is your girlfriend.

Name: Anonymous 2013-12-21 4:32

>>70

https://github.com/saniv/text/blob/master/MISC

it is base64 and "saniv" is my github acc.

Name: Anonymous 2013-12-21 8:52

>>71

but that doesn't prove she is your GF. you need a picture of you together or something.

Name: Anonymous 2013-12-21 10:31

>>72

Yeah! Just after you take photo of your GFs tits with sup.

Name: Anonymous 2013-12-21 10:34

>>72

Oh, I forgot! Your anorexic GF doesn't have tits, just a flat chest with prominent ribs!

Name: Anonymous 2013-12-21 12:42

>>71
Le my face quand le nikita's github

Name: Anonymous 2013-12-21 13:05

>>72
Both of them in one picture would take up too much space.

Name: Anonymous 2013-12-21 14:54

>>74
jouyou jouyou tsurupetta jouyou
jouyou jouyou tsurupetta jouyou
suika suika tsurupetta suika
suika suika tsurupetta suika

Name: Anonymous 2013-12-21 14:56

>>76
ICE BURN

Name: Anonymous 2013-12-22 0:01

>>73

^_^ she's not your GF is she? she's just a random whore whose picture you found on the internet.

Name: Anonymous 2013-12-22 0:07

>>79

actually kiketa is known for his honesty so maybe she is.
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