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haskell is useless

Name: Anonymous 2014-05-16 5:50

haskell is useless because of controlled side effects (hint, usefulness and controlled side effects are not orthogonal as depicted in the video). you should look at node.js if you want a useful language with strictly controlled side effects.

because node.js is purely functional language, all you can do is to emit events that'll hopefully incur side effects and emit the result of side effects back, if any.

this style of homoiconic paradigm (where everything is X) enables compiler generalize tricky parts for ultimate optimizations useless languages like haskell can't even imagine.

and, node.js is not only useful and pragmatic, but it is also very academic, unlike useless language like haskell. when you're programming in node.js, you're essentially working on geometry of objects and their linkages in the form of event flow. And you can easily apply various transformations from abstract geometry (and category theory) when you design such complex and yet simple network of distributed systems. It's complex because you're talking about trillions of interacting agents. And it's simple because you have powerful language of algebra and category to succinctly express humongous systems.

node.js has already reached perfection. all it has left is to invent new mathematics and new science, and penetrate all areas of software industry not only limited to rocket science, space program, but also alien warfare and zombie survivals.

true accomplishment of node.js is that it reduced orthogonality of usefulness of a language and side effects into null using Nth dimensional morpho calculi logos.

Name: Anonymous 2014-05-16 6:19

>>1
no bully haskell-kun

Name: Anonymous 2014-05-16 6:22

I can write all sorts of monads that'll let me do anything I want.

Name: Anonymous 2014-05-16 8:49

>>1
node.js
perfection

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. But seriously, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHASDFASDFMKZVWQEPJKL

Name: Anonymous 2014-05-16 9:01

What video are you talking about?

Name: Anonymous 2014-05-16 13:31

What the fuck am I looking at, Nikita?

Name: Anonymous 2014-05-16 18:20

usefulness and controlled side effects are not orthogonal
The fuck are you bleating, sheep?

haskell is useless
Disproven by lots of useful code written in it, and programmers who have enjoyed writing it.

Name: Anonymous 2014-05-16 18:41

loli haet haskal ;-;

Name: Anonymous 2014-05-16 19:52

Haskell has its place, because it demonstrates the problems connected with lazy evaluation. That is compared to D or Go, which are completely irrelevant.

Name: Anonymous 2014-05-16 20:08

Haskell was terribly disappointing. I saw everyone circlejerk about monads and category theory, but in the end it's just ASCII symbolic maths with some simple pipelining built in.

Name: Anonymous 2014-05-17 1:09

>>8
I've checked, and lolies do not know about Haskell. (n=1723, sampled from a random selection of schoolgirls throughout the world, p<0.005). How could they hate it?

Name: Anonymous 2014-05-17 15:36

>>10
Haskell isn't math, you moron. And it doesn't have pipelining built in, it's in the libraries.

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