Vector valued functions

Fuck lists and their overhead. I just want an extension to C that lets me return vectors. Not classes, not structs, and nothing involving preprocessor shit either. Something like:
<int, int> divr(int a, int b){
return < a / b, a % b >;
}
int main(int asdfasdf, char ** qwerqwe){
int touhous = 5, men = 12;
int eachSucked, unsucked;
<eachSucked, unsucked> = divr(men, touhous);
printf("Each of the %d touhous sucked %d cocks, and there were %d left unsucked", touhous, eachSucked, unsucked);
return 0;
}
which would compile to something simple, like:divr:
pop eax
pop ebx
push edx
xor edx, edx
idiv ebx
mov ebx, edx
pop edx
push ebx
push eax
ret
main:
touhous dd 5
men dd 12
eachSucked dd ?
unsucked dd ?
push touhous
push men
jmp divr
pop [eachSucked]
pop [unsucked]
;; blah blah blah, printf goes here
Isn't that much more elegant that a nasty list every time where things have to be inserted or initialized? Oh, and if you don't need a return value, <a,b,NULL, c> will compile the unneeded return value out, or at least discard the result.

>>16
Sure buddy, let's see you write a program that prints "hello world" while not having any side effects. You go ahead and do that.