Name: Anonymous 2014-06-17 8:50
As some of you may or may not know, Nikita's mother, Marilyn, began dating a
man named Jerry. Jerry, like Marilyn, is of the Jewish descent, and they are
now happily married.
Nikita, previously a closet homosexual, came out of the proverbial closet a few
years ago, which marked the downfall of his once bright and happy social life.
As a result of this downfall, Nikita turned to programming, anti-semitism, gay
pornography, and other computer-oriented interests. This led to his rapid
weight gain.
The following dialogue has been presented for those of you who are unaware of
the psychological trauma now faced by Nikita.
Jerry:
Mmm, very good, it's a very, very good pot roast, Marilyn, thanks.
Marilyn:
Thank you very much, Jerry.
Jerry:
Would you like some more, Nikita?
Nikita:
Oh, no thanks.
Marilyn:
You've barely touched your food!
Jerry
Is something bothering you, son?
Nikita:
No, nothing's bothering me. I don't want to talk about it ...
Marilyn:
He doesn't want to talk about it.
Jerry:
Well, if he doesn't want to talk about it then he doesn't have to talk about it.
Marilyn:
Right, right. He doesn't have to talk about it, I mean, what, we're only his parents. Why should he tell us if something is bothering him?
Jerry:
He just doesn't want to talk about it.
Marilyn:
Am I asking him to talk about it, Jerry?
Jerry:
You're hinting, Marilyn.
Marilyn:
I am not hinting! I just want to know what is bothering our son.
Jerry:
Marilyn ...
Nikita:
Am I fat?
Marilyn:
Nikita! Please. Your father and I are discussing. Is that a crime now, Jerry?
Jerry:
What do you mean, son?
Nikita:
Am I fat?
Jerry:
Of course not, Nikita. Is that what's been bothering you?
Marilyn:
Awwhaww. That is ridiculous! Why would you ever think that you were fat?
Nikita:
Some of the kids on /prog/ were saying that ...
Marilyn:
Honey, you are just big boned. That's all.
Jerry:
Well, actually, he could stand to lose a couple of pounds, Marilyn.
Marilyn:
JERRY!
Jerry:
Well, I'm just saying that he could ...
Marilyn:
Don't listen to ... You're just husky and that's perfectly normal. Why, when I
was your age, I was just exactly like you, and look at me, I turned out to be a
perfectly normal-sized person.
man named Jerry. Jerry, like Marilyn, is of the Jewish descent, and they are
now happily married.
Nikita, previously a closet homosexual, came out of the proverbial closet a few
years ago, which marked the downfall of his once bright and happy social life.
As a result of this downfall, Nikita turned to programming, anti-semitism, gay
pornography, and other computer-oriented interests. This led to his rapid
weight gain.
The following dialogue has been presented for those of you who are unaware of
the psychological trauma now faced by Nikita.
Jerry:
Mmm, very good, it's a very, very good pot roast, Marilyn, thanks.
Marilyn:
Thank you very much, Jerry.
Jerry:
Would you like some more, Nikita?
Nikita:
Oh, no thanks.
Marilyn:
You've barely touched your food!
Jerry
Is something bothering you, son?
Nikita:
No, nothing's bothering me. I don't want to talk about it ...
Marilyn:
He doesn't want to talk about it.
Jerry:
Well, if he doesn't want to talk about it then he doesn't have to talk about it.
Marilyn:
Right, right. He doesn't have to talk about it, I mean, what, we're only his parents. Why should he tell us if something is bothering him?
Jerry:
He just doesn't want to talk about it.
Marilyn:
Am I asking him to talk about it, Jerry?
Jerry:
You're hinting, Marilyn.
Marilyn:
I am not hinting! I just want to know what is bothering our son.
Jerry:
Marilyn ...
Nikita:
Am I fat?
Marilyn:
Nikita! Please. Your father and I are discussing. Is that a crime now, Jerry?
Jerry:
What do you mean, son?
Nikita:
Am I fat?
Jerry:
Of course not, Nikita. Is that what's been bothering you?
Marilyn:
Awwhaww. That is ridiculous! Why would you ever think that you were fat?
Nikita:
Some of the kids on /prog/ were saying that ...
Marilyn:
Honey, you are just big boned. That's all.
Jerry:
Well, actually, he could stand to lose a couple of pounds, Marilyn.
Marilyn:
JERRY!
Jerry:
Well, I'm just saying that he could ...
Marilyn:
Don't listen to ... You're just husky and that's perfectly normal. Why, when I
was your age, I was just exactly like you, and look at me, I turned out to be a
perfectly normal-sized person.