Language feature hell

Where do programming language design decisions go when they die? If they're evil enough, they end up in this thread, for us to bring back to life like a bunch of bored asshole wizards with way too much free time. And if we collect enough souls from the damned, we can frankenstein them together into a programming language antichrist and chortle soundlessly as it ravages the cosmos.

Right at this moment, the feature that has captured my attention is the nonlocal goto. We all know about call/cc, but what about putting this in a language that statically allocates its procedure activation records? I shudder to imagine the potential for control flow obfuscation in functions that "smash" their own "stacks" by recursing into (and out of) themselves. I'm so disgusted with myself I might just sit down and write an interpreter for this nonsense.

>>1
UMENA a scheme ffi?

XDM also models all values as sequences (a singleton value is considered to be a sequence of length one). The items in a sequence can either be XML nodes or atomic values. Atomic values may be integers, strings, booleans, and so on: the full list of types is based on the primitive types defined in XML Schema.

COME FROM MY ANUS

preprocessor

finalizers

Lack of procedures/functions.
Lack of the ability to call a function recursive.

>>7

Lack of the ability to call a function recursive.

What if tail recursion is allowed, but no other kind?

Inability to mutate fields in a record.
That's why I hate Haskell.

>>8
Tree recursion is very powerful, it should give you a easy way to implement it without making you hate yourself.

>>10
Quicksort causes stackoverflows. Tree recursion is terrible.

>>11
Stack overflows cause Stack overflows cause Stack overflows cause Stack overflows cause Stack overflows cause Stack overflows cause Stack overflows cause Stack overflows cause Stack overflows cause Stack overflows cause Stack overflows cause Stack overflows cause Stack overflows cause Stack overflows cause Stack overflows cause Stack overflows cause Stack overflows cause Stack overflows cause Stack overflows cause Stack overflows cause Stack overflows cause Stack overflows cause *** Exception: Stack overflow.

>>11
Haha, idiot