Name: Anonymous 2015-01-15 10:41
Howard the Dog sat in front of his computer terminal, staring intently at the lines of C code in EMACS. A golden retriever, his fur coat shined under the dim light of his windowless prison cell, and kept him warm from the dampness of the cement walls.
At that moment, he had an epiphany, and after adjusting the tassel of his Shriner's cap, he raised his paws and began to type out fresh lines of code. "Yes! This could actually work," he thought to himself as he wagged his tail. He had figured out how he would escape from this dungeon by concealing a message detailing his predicament within the software that had he been tasked with writing. Surely, someone on the outside would find it and come to his rescue. Hours passed. And then the final paw press was registered, and his work was done.
All he had to do now was wait until the change-set made it out to the public. He was so happy. Relieved, he barked with enjoyment. But then he caught himself and looked worryingly at the cast-iron door of his cell. "Oh no, what have I done, I should have been more quiet," he thought.
The seconds ticked by, and then to Howard's horror he heard the footsteps beyond the door. He jumped down from his office chair in panic, and fled to the corner of the room, curling up into ball. But it would be no escape.
The guard fumbled with the keys, and after inserting the correct one, the iron door began to creek open. Appearing from behind the door was Lennart Poettering, Howard's abductor and captor, dressed in nothing but silk lingerie soiled with month's of sweat, urine, fecal matter, blood and semen.
"You mangy fucking animal!," yelled Lennart Poettering. "I told you to keep it quiet and this is what you do to me? Your master!? After all I've done for you? How dare you!"
Lennart clasped a loop of wire, his face red and strained in anger. "I'm going to teach you a lesson, one you'll never forget," he screamed, as saliva sputtered and frothed at his mouth.
In a frenzy, Lennart began to whip Howard with the loop of wire as hard and fast as he could. Howard yelped in pain that was nearly unbearable. Blood soon began to ooze from Howard's fresh wounds, opened from the lashes of the wire whip. And yet, Lennart did not stop his punishment.
The lashing went on for nearly ten minutes before Howard's captor yielded to catch his breath. Critically wounded and barely conscious, Howard struggled to move his head. He managed to open his bloodied eyes, and inched his head upwards to catch Lennart looking at the computer terminal screen.
"You fucking piece of shit, Howard. How could do this?" A brown bead of ass-sweat rolled down Lennart's inner thigh.
"Oh no, he figured it out," Howard immediately thought to himself. "I should have hid my message better, I should have known that *he* would have found it."
Indeed, Lennart had become accustomed with Howard's source code for System D, in order to defend any attacks on GNU/Linux mailing lists against his aggressive take-over of the operating system. Sure enough, no peculiarity in the code could escape Lennart's gaze.
Lennart menacingly stepped towards Howard. "I brought you in off of the streets and this is how you betray me after these past two years? Fuck you, you mutt!" Grasping at his belt, Lennart pulled out a knife from its sheath with one hand, as the other hand began to fondle his fetid penis underneath the silk lingerie. As the lingerie was moved aside, Howard could see the AIDS sores and festering boils that marked every region of Lennart's crotch.
"You can't escape, Howard, no one escapes." Lennart lunged at Howard, and inserted his erect penis into Howard's rear end. Howard yelped once again in pain and horror.
Lennart thrusted furiously, raping the poor dog. Blood and shit was everywhere, but it did not matter. The raping went on.
After a few more minutes, Lennart shuddered and arched his back. In his moment of climax, he brought the knife down and slashed Howard's throat.
Sputtering at the mouth, Lennart yelled, "No one escapes! You're mine for eternity, you fucking animal!"
At that moment, he had an epiphany, and after adjusting the tassel of his Shriner's cap, he raised his paws and began to type out fresh lines of code. "Yes! This could actually work," he thought to himself as he wagged his tail. He had figured out how he would escape from this dungeon by concealing a message detailing his predicament within the software that had he been tasked with writing. Surely, someone on the outside would find it and come to his rescue. Hours passed. And then the final paw press was registered, and his work was done.
All he had to do now was wait until the change-set made it out to the public. He was so happy. Relieved, he barked with enjoyment. But then he caught himself and looked worryingly at the cast-iron door of his cell. "Oh no, what have I done, I should have been more quiet," he thought.
The seconds ticked by, and then to Howard's horror he heard the footsteps beyond the door. He jumped down from his office chair in panic, and fled to the corner of the room, curling up into ball. But it would be no escape.
The guard fumbled with the keys, and after inserting the correct one, the iron door began to creek open. Appearing from behind the door was Lennart Poettering, Howard's abductor and captor, dressed in nothing but silk lingerie soiled with month's of sweat, urine, fecal matter, blood and semen.
"You mangy fucking animal!," yelled Lennart Poettering. "I told you to keep it quiet and this is what you do to me? Your master!? After all I've done for you? How dare you!"
Lennart clasped a loop of wire, his face red and strained in anger. "I'm going to teach you a lesson, one you'll never forget," he screamed, as saliva sputtered and frothed at his mouth.
In a frenzy, Lennart began to whip Howard with the loop of wire as hard and fast as he could. Howard yelped in pain that was nearly unbearable. Blood soon began to ooze from Howard's fresh wounds, opened from the lashes of the wire whip. And yet, Lennart did not stop his punishment.
The lashing went on for nearly ten minutes before Howard's captor yielded to catch his breath. Critically wounded and barely conscious, Howard struggled to move his head. He managed to open his bloodied eyes, and inched his head upwards to catch Lennart looking at the computer terminal screen.
"You fucking piece of shit, Howard. How could do this?" A brown bead of ass-sweat rolled down Lennart's inner thigh.
"Oh no, he figured it out," Howard immediately thought to himself. "I should have hid my message better, I should have known that *he* would have found it."
Indeed, Lennart had become accustomed with Howard's source code for System D, in order to defend any attacks on GNU/Linux mailing lists against his aggressive take-over of the operating system. Sure enough, no peculiarity in the code could escape Lennart's gaze.
Lennart menacingly stepped towards Howard. "I brought you in off of the streets and this is how you betray me after these past two years? Fuck you, you mutt!" Grasping at his belt, Lennart pulled out a knife from its sheath with one hand, as the other hand began to fondle his fetid penis underneath the silk lingerie. As the lingerie was moved aside, Howard could see the AIDS sores and festering boils that marked every region of Lennart's crotch.
"You can't escape, Howard, no one escapes." Lennart lunged at Howard, and inserted his erect penis into Howard's rear end. Howard yelped once again in pain and horror.
Lennart thrusted furiously, raping the poor dog. Blood and shit was everywhere, but it did not matter. The raping went on.
After a few more minutes, Lennart shuddered and arched his back. In his moment of climax, he brought the knife down and slashed Howard's throat.
Sputtering at the mouth, Lennart yelled, "No one escapes! You're mine for eternity, you fucking animal!"