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I just pooped

Name: Anonymous 2015-01-15 17:57

it was soft and brown

Name: I just pooped 2015-01-15 19:09

I just pooped

Name: Anonymous 2015-01-15 19:38

And there should even be shit at the top of the Imperial Tower, cause there aren't any toilets there, or at least make toilets in the White Tower so that the tourists wouldn't poop themselves, and the guards should aggro if you shit in an inappropriate place, anb make a guild of feces, whose representative would contact you if you did that. The goals of the guild are to shit in various places, then to escape the chase.

And make a magic school of shit, so you could do fun stuff with shit, and make poisons out of shit. So that an Argonian could eat shit and restore health. (well, their hearts are even transplanted to humans) no, no, there must be a birthsign "Shit-eater" that would allow to eat some shit once a day and restore health, but would e.g. decrease charisma...

And the guild of feces should dwell in the sewers, they should have a cool headquarters there like the Dark Brotherhood, and they should cooperate with the thievery guild, for example, a thief from the guild steals something, he gets chased, and a guy from the fecal guild drops some shit, and the guards slip on it.

And for Skyrim, where there are fatalities, make it so it's possible to finish off crawling bandits with farting or with a hearty pile on the face, so that they asphyxiate and drown.

In Oblivion, it should be possible to inter-fart with another guild member in secret from the guard, like with Morse code, to be able to send signals even out of jail. And in some cities, for instance on holidays, farting should be like a crime punished by prison.

And make it so that if you fart in a temple, you can anger the divines, and if you get caught, you'd even be jailed.

Name: TPOBCI 2015-01-15 19:43

The Pleasure Of Being Cummed Inside.

Name: Anonymous 2015-01-15 19:47

Elaborating on this idea, add to the blue, green and red bars a BROWN one, so when it gets full (the more you eat) the player wants to take a shit, if you don't take a shit on time, then it's possible to shit your pants. And make new diseases, constipation, diarrhea, dysentery. Make a mod, someone. And make it so that when you enter a cave, there's poop everywhere that the bandits have shit, and it's possible to slip on feces in a fight, or to make a "trap" yourself by taking a shit in stealth mode...
And lots of poop on the surface too, there must be crap all over, cause beasts shit and stuff, bandits also.

If you shit yourself in a guild building, you might get expelled.
And it should be made so that guards, bodyguards, bandits and dragons can smell shit.
And so that the protagonist can smell shit.
And make a quest in the mages guild about magical invisible shit (it stinks yet cannot be seen)

Oh and a YELLOW bar should be added too!
So that you could insult enemies, put out torches, make slippery puddle traps.
And two new alchemical elements too - Sweet Bread and Orange Juice!

Name: Anonymous 2015-01-16 3:56

>>3
but would e.g. decrease charisma...
I laughed audiably.

farting should be like a crime punished by prison.
I could see it now.

fart building, tap b to supress...
b b b b b b b b b b
pllfftptptpptff

Disgusting! Arrest that man!

Shit time to run. I knew I shouldn't have eaten that burrito before coming here...

Name: Anonymous 2015-01-16 4:14

I'm going to use this opportunity to practice my German!

Ich schiss gerade. Es war sanft und braun.

Questions for German /prog/riders:

1. Does gerade come before or after the verb? Could both work?
2. Is scheißen the best verb? It doesn't seem to capture the youthfulness of the word poop.

Danke schön!

Name: Anonymous 2015-01-16 12:22

>>7
The equivalent of poop is kacken rather than scheißen. Gerade comes after the verb, unless it's in Perfekt, where it comes between haben and the verb.

Speaking of Perfekt, the phrase would sound more natural in that tense. Also, soft is weich in this case, not sanft.

Name: Anonymous 2015-01-16 15:20

>>8
Speaking of Perfekt, the phrase would sound more natural in that tense.
Why is that? I aimed for Imperfekt because that's what the OP used.

Thank you for the corrections!

Name: Anonymous 2015-01-16 17:21

>>9
Imperfekt is more frequently found in stories (both written/spoken) and speeches rather than short, trivial statements like this. I'm not sure why; it might just be due to local dialects. Imperfekt isn't wrong in this case anyway.

Name: Anonymous 2015-01-16 17:26

>>10
Imperfekt isn't a very useful tense in any language, really. Perfekt conveys a sense of ``I just did this'', whereas Imperfekt is just ``once upon a time''. It's the same in French, Dutch, and English, though it's admittedly probably not as strong in English.

Name: Anonymous 2015-01-16 19:55

>>11
though it's admittedly probably not as strong in English.
It's not as strong in English. Many speakers prefer the imperfect, or see no difference between the two.

Name: Anonymous 2015-01-16 19:55

>>8
The admin hath spoken! the server is in Germany so this must be the admin

Name: Anonymous 2015-01-16 20:07

>>13
There are about 200 million people who speak German in the world.

Name: Anonymous 2015-01-16 20:10

>>14
But honestly, what are the odds one of them would come here?

Name: Anonymous 2015-01-16 20:22

>>12
That's because there are almost no people who actually know English left on Earth. The majority of English speakers are either non-natives (they might know their native well but probably not their second) or Americans (don't know any languages because soda, Jewish media and genetically modified burgers have turned their brains into poo-poo).
In actual, real English Past Simple and Present Perfect were quite distinct and each of them had frequent intended use cases that didn't intersect with the other one.

Name: Anonymous 2015-01-16 20:39

In English, the use of Past Simple and Present Perfect is quite strict. As soon as a time expression in the past is given, you have to use Past Simple. If there are no signal words, you must decide if we just talk about an action in the past or if its consequence in the present is important.

Past Simple | Present Perfect Simple

certain time in the past | just / already / not yet
Example: |
I phoned Mary 2 minutes ago. | I have just phoned Mary.

certain event in the past | whether / how often till now
Example:
He went to Canada last summer. | Have you ever been to Canada? / I have been to Canada twice.

emphasis on action | Emphasis on result
Example:
I bought a new bike. | I have bought a new bike.
(just telling what I did in the past.) | (With this sentence I actually want to express that I have a new bike now.)

signal words
yesterday | just
... ago | already
in 1990 | up to now
the other day | until now / till now
last ... | ever
| (not) yet
| so far
| lately / recently

Name: Anonymous 2015-01-16 21:58

wow language is hard
lol not really dumb niggers
muh words

Name: Anonymous 2015-01-16 22:09

Today my poop consisted of 3 chunks, 2 moderately large turds and 1 above average nugget.

Also, >>18 is a retarded mental midget.

Name: Anonymous 2015-01-16 22:12

For a while my poop was so big that I had to plunge every time I went.
I stopped eating breakfast and I started having flushable sized poop again.

Name: Anonymous 2015-01-19 9:29

>>20
Don't do that. Breakfast is the most important meal.

Name: Anonymous 2015-01-19 9:34

>>20
I stopped eating breakfast
That's impossible.
Anything you eat after fasting is a breakfast.
So either you're starving and about to die (and you don't even poop anymore), or you do eat breakfast.

Name: Anonymous 2015-01-19 9:52

>>22
What if he never fasts, by constantly chewing the cud, like a cow?

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