[$$$][Anal]Programming Reality TV[Get Rich Quick]

For the latest scheme to make money and fuck bitches, we're going to make a programmer reality TV show. The problem, of course, is that programming is overwhelmingly boring to do most of the time, and mind-numbingly boring to watch. The viewers of reality TV are complete retards, but that is our advantage. They are mindless consumers of media and commercials and will buy all the product placement we have on the air. The secret to this is that we demean the participating programmers to introduce catharsis into the anti-intellectual viewers who want to see their superiors suffer. But that's not the only demographic we will be exploiting! We will also pit different factions in the programming world against each other to draw in the fervant ideologues on all sides to root for their teams. With such a broad range of groups with their eyes all on our program, advertisers will pour in. Later on, we can even introduce audience participation and have the call a premium number to cast votes, raking in even more money for us!

Each team has five members.
The Teams:
The Lisperati Cabel
The Brogrammer Fraternity
The ENTERPRISE Conglomerate
The Freedom Foundation
The Stackoverflow Brigade
The Social Company
The Feminist Coven

Each week, the groups are issued a challenge to be done under strenuous conditions. After the time is up, the projects are judged by a group of sexy people who rank them according to various metrics (don't worry, this is rigged, us producers actually pick the winners based on popularity). For the first week, the two team that came last will have their members redistributed throughout the other teams. After the first week, the losing team is disqualified for the rest of the show. Once there is a single team left, the members must compete against each other. The winner is named World's Best Programmer and wins a sum of money to start a start-up with.

Sample Challenges:
Write a Tetris clone on a computer that crashes every twenty minutes.
Implement LZMA while being yelled at by a drill sergeant.
Write a b-tree library with as many features as they for a probabilistic computer (error rate of 1.0%), while ensuring that the end result of any operation is not expected more than 0.01% of the time.
Write a program to solve the Hypernigger Random Walk question posed on /prog/ a while back, while surrounded by actual niggers.

Please feel free to give feedback so that we can have the best show and we can all get rich!

I really want to see this. live.

>>1
Hmm, I think you were onto something with the first part of your post.

On one hand, the viewers are total retards who will watch anything that presents enough characteristics of a reality show, because that's what they are supposed to do. So, if there are character nicknames, dramatic zoom ins, foreshadowing announcer, and other formulaic details they will bite.

On the other hand, and this is the actual genius part, if the show itself is mindnumbingly boring then the retards will pay that much more attention to product placement and advertisement. Kind of like people read shampoo bottles in the loo, you know?

So here's the deal: the parts like team names and the like are fine. But you shouldn't attempt to spice up the actual show, it will eat directly into our ad revenue.

The actual content should be dudes typing in code, nothing more, nothing less. You can have all kinds of behind the scenes rumors and drama, the announcer dramatically announcing that The Progmaster discovered that Codesnake has been cheating on him with Weenus Tarballs, what will he do?, but then the video feed cuts to a dude typing in code for a minute, then we run a block of ads, then the announcer recounts recent developments while the camera focuses on some brand laptop.

Also, also! Since at first we wouldn't have many advertisers, we should mainly advertise and product-place the show itself. It will create a feedback loop and give us an army of zombified fanatic retards promoting the show to their friends and family.

do i get to see the Leah having sex

cool thread

upboat =D

I'd watch that, actually.

Let's tell Obama that it's going to get kids into coding and see if he can make an appearance. That'll get some eyeballs on our ads.

Potential Judges: Lennart, Guido, Julie Sussman, MrVacBob, someone who worked on Doom or Quake, that Google+ manager guy who got fired, Paul Graham, Wozniak, Zuckerkike, Knuth, Elon Musk, Lambda, Shanley.

I think the program should be free and open source.
For starters this means that all competitors and staff should work for free.
Any advertisements shown must be GPL licensed with me as the copyright holder.
The program's name must start with GNU.
Additionally everybody who watches the program must understand that their memories and discussions of the program are GPL licensed and must be uploaded to the internet for sharing.

>>9
Fuck off with your communist bullshitte. We're here to make money and it doesn't matter how many people fucking die. Not even if you die too. Do you understand?

http://youtu.be/wyLjbMBpGDA

I like to think that he was very stoned when he performed this.

>>11
Weed hadn't been invented back then.
He's high on crack.

>>11
Will not watch.

>>13
Does it give you a special pleasure to announce you won't watch something?

>>14
>le pedophile sage

>>15
Stop that! I'm not a pedophile!

>>15
Stop that! I'm not a sage!