C

C is master race
In your face
gotta go fast
lets have a fucking blast
fuck yeah c

Whatever I have up till now accepted as most true and assured I have gotten either from the senses or through the senses. But from time to time I have found that the senses deceive, and it is prudent never to trust completely those who have deceived us even once.

—Rene Descartes, Meditations On First Philosophy

If there ever were a quote that described programming with C, it would be this. To many programmers, this makes C scary and evil. It is the Devil, Satan, the trickster Loki come to destroy your productivity with his seductive talk of pointers and direct access to the machine. Then, once this computational Lucifer has you hooked, he destroys your world with the evil "segfault" and laughs as he reveals the trickery in your bargain with him.

But, C is not to blame for this state of affairs. No my friends, your computer and the Operating System controlling it are the real tricksters. They conspire to hide their true inner workings from you so that you can never really know what is going on. The C programming language's only failing is giving you access to what is really there, and telling you the cold hard raw truth. C gives you the red pill. C pulls the curtain back to show you the wizard. C is truth.

Why use C then if it's so dangerous? Because C gives you power over the false reality of abstraction and liberates you from stupidity.