haskell derivative targeted at manchildren

http://blog.sigmapoint.pl/purescript-will-make-you-purr-like-a-kitten/

.pl

Poles have lost all wars. Every single of them.

useless during wartime (well, this actually doesn't apply to unicorns, as facing your enemies riding one would absolutely rock)

Yeah. During WWII Poles were riding fucking horses against the tanks of Hitler and Stalin.