How I interview candidates

I call it the peeing test: I go to the bathroom with the candidate and then kindly ask:

Alright, so now I would like to see some urination :) Okey?
Come on... Don't you know how to pee? Is not that hard... haha
Oh there you go :) a drop of urine. Don't worry, take your time :)

If things go well I may also ask for a small poop, just to see how far they can go.

And this is how I know if the candidate is a real human.

i'm probably lonely here, having owned a software company and hired about 20 programmers myself. Submitting their own work was always required and for the interview I'd just spot a bug in their own code and ask what's wrong with it.