Apping gone horribly wrong

file:/// wait, no, it's https://developer.android.com/tools/building/multidex.html Building Apps with Over 65K Methods
Over 65K Methods!
What the fuck could take 65K methods to accomplish?!? According to https://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/windows/apps/dn424765.aspx, there are 3149 functions in the entire windows API. You could implement the entirety of Windows twenty times over, and that's not enough for a single app? What the fuck is going on? Naturally, it's Java that's to blame, and it's retarded obsession with class oriented programming. I'm guessing that there are dickload of getters and setters that are never more complicated than single line assignments or return statements, but never the less cannot be inlined because of some retarded object model in the JVM.

Also, why the fuck does the offline documentation for Android phone home to Google every, like, five minutes? Did they think I wouldn't notice? What do they even hope to gain?

You can easily reach that number by adding a bunch of libraries, for instance: http://stackoverflow.com/questions/27377080/after-update-of-as-to-1-0-getting-method-id-not-in-0-0xffff-65536-error-i
External libraries is the bread-and-butter of apping, and many of them, like spongycastle, have thousands of methods that you'll never use. Crazy shit this apping thing.