Baby's 1st Scheme

So what's the big deal with scheme. It seems to lack a bunch of basic features found in modern languages like Javascript. Like FOR EACH loops, asynchronous events, and JSON. Is there a modern version of LISP that has those built in stuff.

I am only learning scheme because of SICP. What are LIST and MACROs in scheme and why is it considered so powerful. Also, can one of you explain to me what "my other CAR is a CDR" means. Why do people claim that LISP is the building blocks of the universe. So many questions.

BANDWIDTH! HAHHAAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA

I'M WRITING BLOATED SHIT WITH ALL THESE FANCY HIGH TECH TECHNOLOGIES AND I'M CONCERNED ABOUT BANDWIDTH! HAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHA

HOW ABOUT ALL THE CRAP THE WEB SERVER PUTS IN THE HTTP HEADER, AND ALL THE BLOATED CRAP THAT'S GENERATED BY DREAMWEAVER CORPORATE EDITION?

NOT TO MENTION ALL THOSE DIRTY VIDEOS YOU'RE UPLOADING

BANDWIDTH! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HOW ABOUT YOU JUST WRITE LESS CODE, YOU FAT FUCK?

>>10 LOSES WEIGHT BY EATING HIS BODYWEIGHT IN LOW FAT ICE CREAM! IT'S THE LEANER WAY TO WRITE USELESS, UNNECESSARY CODE!

SAVING BANDWIDTH! HAHHAA