SCHEME IS THE VIAL, LISP IS THE TROJAN HORSE

(define (map! fn . lsts)
(if (not (any null? lsts))
(begin
(set-car! (car lsts) (apply fn (map car lsts)))
(apply map! fn (map cdr lsts)))))

(define grimey-sanders-list '(this is very nice and fit for use by alice))

(define alices-list '(lalala butterflies and flowers))

(define (your-move-alice!)
(set! alices-list (append alices-list grimey-sanders-list)))

(define (your-move-grimer!)
(map! (lambda (a b) b) grimey-sanders-list
'(TAILWHACKING SHIT SNAILS FOURCAN AND GORE BDSM PORN AND MORE)))

(define (alices-moment-of-horror)
(print alices-list))

(your-move-alice!)
(your-move-grimer!)
(alices-moment-of-horror)

Now here's an exercise for all you READERS out there.

EXPLAIN HOW THIS SNIPPET CORRELATES TO MULTI-USER MULTI-PROCESS TIME-SHARING COMPUTERS WITH MULTIPLE THREADS, MULTIPLE PROCESSES, OPERATING IN THE BIG BAD WORLD OF RACE CONDITIONS AND MULTIPLE MULTIPLEXING TECHNOLOGIES.

Exercise #2:

RECONFIGURE YOUR RESPONSE TO CORRELATE CORRELATIONS WITH CONCURRENCIES AND PARALLELISMS THAT OPERATE CONCURRENTLY AND SHARE CONCURRENT PROCESSES WHILE EVALUATING THOSE PROCESSES THROUGH MULTIPLE THREADS OF EXECUTION, DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?

this is amazing, I love this sort of thing OP.

just trying to figure it out without running it.

Exercise #3:

IMAGINE YOU ARE PROK RAMMER IN 21ST CENTURIES

YOU RECEIVE LIST FROM LIBRARY WITH PROMISES OF: NEURAL NETWORKS, WANNABE-HALLUCINOGENIC ARTWORKS, OPENGL GRAPHICS, VULKAN THE FAT PREGNANT BIRD, RUST THE RUSTY OLD DILDO, SQL, HTML5, AND OTHER YUPPY GOODY GOODY SERVICES LISTED ON HACKER NEWS AND WEBSITES FOR OTHER YUPPIES

HOW YOU ENSURE YOUR LIST IS PROTECTED AGAINST MALICIOUS ATTACK PERPETRATED BY INTERNET TERRORIST SUCH AS GRIMEY SANDERS? WHAT SECURITY MEASURES YOU IMPLEMENT TO MAKE SURE THIS NOT THE CASE THAT THEY MODIFY YOUR LIST AND PUT DIRTIES IN IT?

>>4
(use srfi-1 srfi-13)

;; GRIMER'S TAMPON FACTORY

(define buy-new-tampon #f)

((lambda ()
; WE BUILD TRUST WITH ALICE FIRST FEW TIMES SO SHE START USING THEM WITHOUT
; SUSPICION, THEN WE GET HER IN THE VAGINO
(define times 0)

(set! buy-new-tampon
(lambda ()
(set! times (+ times 1))
(if (= (modulo times 10) 0)
(lambda (vagina)
(printf "-- ~a IS BANGED BY GRIMER WITH ALL HIS MIGHT\n" vagina)
(string-append vagina " is filled with semen"))
(lambda (vagina)
(printf "-- ~a is cleaned and protected by tampon #~a\n" vagina times)
(string-append vagina " is clean and protected")))))))

;; ALICE THE CONSUMER

(define (alices-monthly-routine)
(define tampon (buy-new-tampon))
(apply tampon '("alice's vagina")))

(define (alices-tampon-test tampon)
(apply tampon '("alice's spider plant")))

; January 2015

(define months
'(January February March April May June July
August September October November December))

(define result (alices-tampon-test (buy-new-tampon)))
(printf "January, testing new tampons on spider plant, result: ~a\n" result)

(if (not (string-contains result "clean"))
(begin
(printf "yuck! these are terrible! forget I even bothered!\n")
(exit 0)))

(for-each
(lambda (month)
(define result (alices-monthly-routine))
(printf "~a, using new tampon, result: ~a\n" month result)
(if (not (string-contains result "clean"))
(begin
(printf "OMG! WHAT HAPPENED! OMG! THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING!\n")
(exit 0))))
(apply circular-list months))

I need to know what Alice this is before I can know whether to sympathize with her or not. But whoever, I like it.

She's the pussy from Serial Events Lain

>>6
This is really gross.

>>9
On the contrary, I really enjoyed it and thought it was completely hilarious. I even ran both of them on my machine and modified the first one to work with Chicken scheme.

_{(stopping the dubsfaggot from dubsbumping)}