Choose life.

Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a fucking startup in San Francisco that drops vowels out of its name and ends in "io". Choose a NoSQL database that doesn't support joins, and a constantly crashing backend that the founder wrote in a weekend in the trendy web framework of the week. Choose a starter apartment in the Tenderloin that's smaller and smellier than the carboard boxes the homeless live in on Market Street. Choose a fucking "unlimited vacation" plan that means that the first employee who tries to take a vacation gets a permanent one. Choose a facial hair style that makes you look like a Confederate general, and granny glasses. Choose an open plan office with no walls or dividers that's noisier and more distracting than a call center in Bangladesh. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that?