Why is the Java GC so garbage?

It is 2016, why does Java still shit itself like a baby if you try to serve a non-toy amount of traffic with it without tuning your garbage collector settings yourself like some sort of caveman?

Is it so hard to set defaults that don't randomly freeze like a deer caught in the headlights at the sight of multiple qps?

>>12
In C you get to choose whether the object goes on the stack or the heap. I don't believe Java gives you a choice. You could be doing something that, in C, lives entirely on the stack, but outside of C, you are at the mercy of the runtime.

Now, go sit in the corner and think about how you could make an ill-considered point without sounding like a condescending dumbass.