List of failed C replacements

1.Rust
2.D
3.C++
4.C#
5.Java
Its 2016, why C is still so popular and used in mainstream project?

1.C replacement that could replace C in Linux kernel.
basically allowing some unsafe low-level memory operations and inline assembler.
2.Shill it everywhere, like Rust/Go. Crucial.
3.Tons of "Dumb troglodyte guide to C+ functoid-lambda-closures in 30 minutes". Purge academic speak and use simplest terms for everything(so don't actually call it "functoid-lambda-closures", it would be something like import Sparkles to do Jingleloop). It has to appeal to masses.
4.Replace all major C/C++ libraries(Libraries are like "muh videogames require Windows" for programmers)
5.Win high-profile benchmarks. Haskell has dedicated autists that write code and patch the compiler to win benchmarks.