Common Lisp: the ultimate hyper-mutable turd

But Common Lisp is the most imperative of the imperative, the ultimate hyper-mutable turd. Other programming languages don't allow nearly as much runtime mutation of every fucking thing as Common Lisp does. Goddamn it, you can rebind function values at runtime or change class definitions at runtime and the objects get mutated to have new slots - not even C can do that kind of shit. Common Lisp is the epitome of everything imperative and anti-functional, no wonder it was sent to the dustbin and all the practices it promotes are being stamped out with vehemence in every professional programmer community.

Your hardware will never be immutable.