Time and Cern

Time has sped up.
But truly time has slowed down.

We are in the middle of a spatial rift in which the black holes in cern and other high energy particle accelerators are slowing and returning time to normal. This is also causing the earth and perhaps the solar systen to leap back and forth between past, future, and present. Its no mystery that time is moving fast, and there is a reason.

This is also the explanation to the much debated, and laughable "mandela effect". Time is being changed and its out of control. And i believe this to be the cause;

>>9
AFTER MARISA HAD JUST BEEN PLEASANTLY SURPRISED BY REIMU'S AMOROUS ADVANCES SHE WOKE UP THE NEXT MORNING FEELING SOMEWHAT ITCHY AND WHEN SHE THOUGHT ABOUT IT SHE GOT SCARED AND SAID "REIMU YOU'RE A WHORE AND YOU TOTALLY GAVE ME HERPES" AND REIMU SAID "NO WAY I JUST LET YUKARI STICK A FINGER IN THERE'S NO WAY YOU CAN GET HERPES THAT EASILY" BUT MARISA WASN'T LISTENING SO SHE FLEW AWAY CRYING UNTIL SHE WAS FAR AWAY FROM THE SHRINE AND AFTER A GOOD CRY SHE REALIZED SHE WAS REALLY ITCHY SO SHE TRIED TO THINK OF A GOOD FOLK REMEDY AND REMEMBERED OVERHEARING THAT OATMEAL BATHS WILL SOOTHE ITCHING SO SHE THOUGHT ABOUT WHERE TO FIND A LARGE AMOUNT OF OATMEAL BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T REALIZE THAT AN OATMEAL BATH IS DIFFERENT FROM A TUB FULL OF OATMEAL SO AFTER A GOOD AMOUNT OF THINKING SHE REALIZED THAT HAKUGYOKUROU WOULD HAVE LOTS OF OATMEAL BECAUSE YUYUKO IS A FATASS SO SHE FLEW THERE AND SAW YOUMU TENDING THE GARDENS AND ASKED HER "HEY YOUMU CAN I USE YOUR OATMEAL AND YOUR BATHTUB CAUSE REIMU GAVE ME HERPES" WHICH CAUSED YOUMU TO FREAK OUT INTERNALLY AND THINK 'SHIT I BETTER GET TESTED THAT DAMN LYING SHRINE MAIDEN' BUT YOUMU KEPT HER COMPOSURE AND SAID "SURE MARISA GO SIT UNDER A TREE AND I'LL GO PREPARE A BATH FOR YOU" SO MARISA DID AS SHE WAS TOLD AND YOUMU CURSED IN HER HEAD AND FILLED THE TUB WITH OATMEAL IN THE HOPES THAT MARISA AND YUYUKO WOULD BE EQUALLY STUPID SO SHE FINALLY CALLED MARISA OVER AFTER THE OATMEAL WAS COOKED AND TOLD HER TO GET IN WHICH SHE DID AFTER STRIPPING AND YOUMU LEFT AND STARTED FANNING THE AROMA OF THE OATMEAL TOWARD YUYUKO'S ROOM WHILE MARISA WAS SOAKING IN THE OATMEAL AND MARISA THOUGHT TO HERSELF 'MAN OATMEAL BATHS ARE HARD TO MOVE IN BUT THEY FEEL PRETTY NICE' JUST AS YUYUKO BURST INTO THE ROOM AND AFTER A FEW MOMENTS OF AWKWARD SILENCE YUYUKO ATE HER.