goto, uh, finds a way

so I've been reviewing some ENTERPRISE-quality Java code and I noticed something ancient, something that came from a different world - the world of assembly, of FORTRAN, of embedded C. it's the dreaded goto which would make DickStar shit himself in fear.

b-but Java doesn't have goto

you'd say, ignorantly. and you'll be wrong. language abstractions, just like society and morality, are merely human constructs. you can't chain the true nature of programming with them as behind the curtain, it's goto all the way down. this time, the terrible power of goto was freed with help of the forbidden techniques previously used only by the disciples of C pre-processor and their terrible leader, FrozenAnus. BEHOLD:

do{
int haxation = this.hax(myAnus);
if(haxation > EnterpriseConstants.HAX_MAX) break;
this.haxMoreAnuses();
}while(false);
this.stopHaxing();;

>>22

besides my dubs

Back to 4chan, please.