The FP goblin

We all know that one person. He will claim that functional programming is the answer to any problem. When tried to be convinced that he is wrong, he will screech. He will most often push towards using an obsolete toy language like lisp or haskell.

common subspecies is The Typefag. typefags use Hurry Coward Correspondence to claim that typefaggotry is the only way to write correct programs and that it allows them to make programs that are provably bug-free, halitng problem be damned