/prog/ Challenge: ShitPoastBot6001

Let's write an AI that will automate all poastings here and on /lounge/.

Input: A link to a poast P on tinychan or a similar board.

Output: A plaintext poast. No need to actually submit it, just output it to stdout or other easily accessible interface, with BBCode formatting. The rules for getting the output are:
1) If the last poast number in a thread is a number that, when incremented by 1, is a dubs number, output ``check 'em''.
2) Otherwise, if the poast links to another poast Q, contains a quote (<blockquote> HTML element), and the quote text is not a substring of Q, output is ``Who are you quoting?, prefixed by link to P.
3) Otherwise, if the poast contains one or more youtube links, the output is a list o those links, with domain changed to hooktube, newline-separated, prefixed by link to P.
4) Otherwise, if the poast contains the phrase ``nigger'', the output is pesudo-randomly either ``Tsk.'' or *African American'' prefixed by link to P.
5) Otherwise outoout is ``Hax my anus.''.

DEADLINE: 29 January 2018

5) Otherwise outoout is ``Hax my anus.''.

This would be more interesting using a word frequency table to pick a weighted random word to replace ``Hax''.

>>3
But then we need a list of words. Are you willing to scrape w4ch to provide it?