Javascript is a security, privacy, and performance problem

That's why I would like to eliminate it from my life. But too many websites on Web 2.0 make heavy use of it to even work at all. Is there a webservice that I can feed an URL and it will run all shitty scripts and return the resulting DOM, so I can parse and render it?

the browser is the most heavily engineered VM in existence. all major browsers automatically update without asking the user, so even if there is an exploit, it's not good for more than a few hours.

at this point there are much more exploits in the JVM, and people trust that shit to run on their cars and Boeing fighter jets.

I'm much more comfortable having some webapp or Electron program running than some mystery meat native executable. RAM literally costs $30. just skip a few meals, wow so hard.