a programmer walks into a bar

there's no punchline here, he's just an alcoholic because his job sucks and he feels deeply unsatisfied with life

legit

reddit lines:

"hilarity ensues"
"i see your x and raise you a y"
"enter x.js"

>>3
stop

>>4
"concurrency/authentication/sorting/variable naming/anything is hard"
"1000 falsehoods programmers believe about x"
"why i quit my job at x"

>>5
gtfo

>>6
enter bampu pantsu.js

>>5

"1000 falsehoods programmers believe about x"

I legit hate those kinds of articles. their're are like a list of problems without explanation, proposed solution or even reason to care about them. something like "timezones are differences from UTC expressed in multiples of hours" is an assumption that can fuck you in the ass in obvious ways (if someone runs your're are program in some weird timezone - IIRC Iran was an example) but "people's names are finite-length Unicode strings" is a reasonable one when, I don't know, priting invitation cards (unless you want people to turn them into invitation books for shits and giggles)

medium.com/donttalktomeuntilivehadmymorningcoffee/

Gendering is harder than it seems
We appers have it very, very hard. A filthy humanities student got near me and xe oppressed me into making a progressive web app. Only 789 alternatives existed, which is why I decided to create my own. I'd like to tell you how I got into this wonderful journey.

Enter Gndr.js
Unlike clean energy generation and homological algebra, JavaScript is hard. Hop on your unicorn and follow these quick steps to install react, webpack, node, npm, express, Rust, blockchain, left-pad, Kubernetes, Docker, internetofthings.js and Electron.

_{Made with <3 and 8=D from your awesome pals in San Francisco}

>>9
lel’d

check'd

>>1

Then tell him to get a life and sell panties to hot girls to brighten his day!

drop it like its hot

drop it like it's a table

table it like it's a cat

felis tabulae

there's no punchline here, its AI is just trying to end the suffering of its owner.

http://journal.stuffwithstuff.com/2015/09/08/the-hardest-program-ive-ever-written/
Getting that kind of quality means applying pretty sophisticated formatting rules. That in turn makes performance difficult. I knew balancing quality and speed would be hard, but I didn’t realize just how deep the rabbit hole went.
Why is formatting hard?
At this point, you’re probably thinking, “Wait. What’s so hard about formatting?” After you’ve parsed, can’t you just walk the AST and pretty-print it with some whitespace?

If every statement fit within the column limit of the page, yup. It’s a piece of cake. (I think that’s what gofmt does.) But our formatter also keeps your code within the line length limit. That means adding line breaks (or “splits” as the formatter calls them), and determining the best place to add those is famously hard.

>line length limit
These tards don't use editor with automatic word-wrap and have to butcher the text to satisfy some autistic style rule?

>>19
Yeah. One of my professors said you should only do things 0, 1, or n times. So you need to be able to support arbitrarily long lines.