Languages for retarded people

What do i program in if im severely mentally retarded?

Dunno. But many programming languages have retarded design, with impedes their use by non-retarded people, while retards can't use them at all. I think Java can be good for retards, because it is primitive, but has a lot of failsafe mechanisms, like classes, enforce formalism in undisciplined minds. But Java is a big too huge for true certified retards.