Lisp Considered Harmful

How come every Lisper is sad, unhealthy and mentally ill? They all look like they're dying of cancer.

Lispers are suffering from a syntax deficiency. This was an avoidable tragedy. If only McCarty had completed M-Expressions as originally planned, today's sad state of affairs could've been prevented.

That's why we're asking you to please, donate now. Every "{}", every "begin…end", even a single semicolon, can save a Lisper suffering from debilitating parenthesitis. Your generosity makes a difference.