How do I get a programming job if I’m a NEET in my late 20’s

I bought a bunch of Bitcoin back in 2010 and I’ve been living as a useless neet playing grand strategy games all day, but I also have a big portfolio of personal coding projects. It’s been getting boring, and lonely though…
I’m bored and I feel like my life has no purpose, I want to work and maybe make some friends again, and meet some biologically female ladies. Where do I start my grand journey into the void of wage slavery? I’m ready to take on the world!

>>4
What if you're a x86 assemble and C programmer, specializing in micro-controllers and hardware design? What if you specialize in medical bioinformatics? I doubt potential employer will care about your "I can setup a PHP CMS" skills.