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Walrus

Name: Anonymous 2015-01-07 7:16

Hello, I am currently 18 years old and I want to become a walrus. I know there’s a million people out there just like me, but I promise you I’m different. On December 14th, I’m moving to Antartica; home of the greatest walruses. I've already cut off my arms, and now slide on my stomach everywhere I go as training. I may not be a walrus yet, but I promise you if you give me a chance and the support I need, I will become the greatest walrus.

Name: Anonymous 2015-01-11 2:03

Why wouldn't the dog stop barking when he spotted the jazz musician?

there was a cat in his house.

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