Walrus

Hello, I am currently 18 years old and I want to become a walrus. I know there’s a million people out there just like me, but I promise you I’m different. On December 14th, I’m moving to Antartica; home of the greatest walruses. I've already cut off my arms, and now slide on my stomach everywhere I go as training. I may not be a walrus yet, but I promise you if you give me a chance and the support I need, I will become the greatest walrus.

>>60
While your blubber is useful for crushing pests, it will also make you delicious. Perhaps you can stay a size or two short of the walri you will be joining so the killer whales prefer them instead of you.