Neurotypical idiots

I fucking hate all of you for making me waste my time.

After graduating from university, I still was a virgin. Some of my ex-classmates I was kinda close with kept bugging me about my "distant, cold and aloof personality". They don't understand it's plain boring to spend your time with people who are majoring on computer engineering, yet still don't know how to install a Linux distro or make a basic IRC client in C. Because of this, interaction between us consisted of calling me whenever they wanted to play a multiplayer game or had a problem with their pirated software running on shitty hardware. Telling them outright to fuck off wasn't a good idea because university forces you to do group homework and making enemies is never a good idea, no matter where you are.

Now for the relevant part. Since we all grew out of university and went on with our lives, many of them followed the usual trend of getting a job, buying a car, finding a girlfriend and becoming utterly bitter faggots. One of my ex-classmates called me, said he's wondering how I've been doing and invited me over to his place. Trying not to be an asshole, I accepted his invitation and had a long conversation while we were having lunch. The lunch his girlfriend had prepared for all three of us.

Him: "How's life going for you?"
Me: "Got a job for a small company that works with embedded devices. Been writing some simple drivers and helping them with their Linux servers and stuff because they don't have any sysadmins yet. What about you?"
H: "Found a job at a company that makes software for other bigger companies. It's been pretty hard on me but I'm doing this for the both of us."
(starts staring at his girlfriend, she giggles and they kiss)
H: "I suppose you already found someone to give meaning to your life."
(first thought that comes to my head is that of my favorite Touhou, then I realize how gay he sounds)
M: "No, you know I'm not the kind of person to spend my time with others."
H: "Awww! Come on, aren't you a bit too old for that?"
(girlfriend agrees with a quick nod and a "Yeah, yeah")
H: I bet you still live alon- don't tell me you are still single!"
M: "Well, yeah. Time and money are virtually unlimited, there's nothing to complain about this lifestyle."
(girlfriend looks mildly offended)
H: "You wouldn't understand! You've never had someone to share your days with."
(Is that my fault? I consider myself an unintelligent dumbfuck and finding people who are mildly interesting is pretty fucking hard. Also, what kind of brainwashing have you been through? What's with those awfully cheesy sayings?)
M: "Of course not, I'm considerate enough not to bore other people to death with my endless ramblings about computers."
H: "Haha, don't say that, I'm pretty sure there's someone out there for you."
M: "I'm not trying to be mean, but I'm real fucking sick of that line. How many times have I told you I don't find permanent company enjoyable? Living alone and having all the time I want for myself is what I've always wanted ever since I was very young and I'm not giving it up after I've come this far."
H: "You're saying that because you're feeling lonely. Don't worry, it's not that uncommon to rationalize your situation, especially at your age. Believe me, you wouldn't want to go back to being single after you find someone you genuinely enjoy spending your time with."

Trying not to start a pointless argument at someone else's place, I laugh it off and propose we play something after we're done having lunch, on the excuse that "it's not that uncommon to become a little faggot at games, especially after you find a girlfriend". I was expecting his girlfriend to get mad and him to laugh, but instead they both laughed like monkeys. After finishing our lunch, I gave his girlfriend a honest compliment for her cooking skills, thanked both of them for the meal and went straight for his PS3. I spotted a brand new copy of some Call of Duty game,

M: "What about this one? Seems like neither of us have played this game before and it'd be nice to see if it really is catered for 12 year olds."
H: "Haha, yeah, I wouldn't play that game by myself, I bought it hoping I could play it with someone else."
M: "You haven't even peeled off the cover. Have you not played this with her?"
(you can read "shit, I totally forgot about her" on his face)
H: "Uh, she doesn't like that kind of games. (...) How about Little Big Planet?"
M: "Uh... okay."
("yay" in the background)

Thinking it would be a boring game for children, I was surprised after having some legitimate fun with it, though it's not my favorite kind of game and I was progressively getting bored. Seems like he was getting bored of it too, though his girlfriend was still brimming with enthusiasm. Which is funny because she was pretty bad at the game.

-- cont
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We'd have sex more than three times a day.

Women are humans too, with sex drives and needs of their own. I used to think women could suppress their sex drive if the situation demanded it, but there are many times when they're equally as helpless as men. It's not that they're actually suppressing it, they're simply hiding their intentions and they're damn good at it. This is yet another reason for which putting vaginas on a pedestal like neurotypicals and bitter virgins do is plain retarded. Sucking babies' cut dicks is more honorable than being pussy-whipped, you're a fucking retard for not realizing you can also manipulate women by using sex as a currency.

Anyway, this hobby of ours got pretty expensive. Condoms aren't cheap in the long term and we both wanted to try doing it raw. We spent a whole day getting tested for STDs. We both came up clean. Alice said the pill made her physically sick and went for the contraceptive injection. I felt kinda weird that day, only couples with solid relationships do this kind of thing as far as I know. But neither of us wanted herpes or a baby.

First time I had bareback sex was too intense for me. Again, I felt a sharp pain in my prostate after finishing. It took me about two weeks to get desensitized and start to "enjoy" it. For those who insist there's nothing better than sex, your life must be boring as fuck. Bareback sex is a definite improvement over sex with protection, but it still feels like masturbating with your partner's genitals. Of course, it's at least ten times better than using your hand. The thing is, for sex to be enjoyable, both parties must have matching and synchronized sexual drives. As world-shaking as this might sound to you, not everyone is a living sex machine. Both women and men have times when they want to be left alone. The feeling of touching a naked body gets old really quick, french kisses lose their appeal after the tenth time, breasts and butts become an everyday thing. The supposedly intense ecstasy everyone seems to enjoy so much to the extent of wasting their time doing retarded shit is only achievable if you abstain from even seeing naked girls for at least 20 days. Again, it becomes a matter of taking care of your needs instead of elevating to pleasure.

Ready to jump and say how I'm wrong for not enjoying the things you enjoy the most? I'm sorry, it's people like you who force this baseless ideal of having an active sex life to lead a happy life. "BUT BRAH, YOU JUST HAVEN'T HAD ENOUGH SEX". I've had enough sex to know well why I don't enjoy it and to avoid getting into the drama and relationship bullshit you love so much.

Having sex almost whenever you feel like it with a reasonable adult who shares some common interests with you is the best deal you could ever possibly get. Sadly, you can't ask this world for anything more than that. Our field is filled with tons of undesirable people, "cuter" girls are either selfish when it comes to sex or a walking nuisance, and women who are mature enough don't have any interests and thus are an utter bore. "BUT BRAH, NOBODY IS PERFECT. GOTTA LOWER YOUR STANDARDS". Yes, humans are social beings by nature. Yes, humans have sex for the existence of the species. That doesn't mean you will explode into pieces unless you get a girlfriend before turning 30. I have no reason to spend my time with a person I find boring if I don't want to. I have no reason to pass on my defective genes. Not having a long-term relationship doesn't mean you don't have a sense of responsibility. Not everyone likes kids. Not being married doesn't mean you are a perpetually sad person. Not everyone enjoys spending their entire living time with a person of the opposite sex. Why is that so hard to understand? I think I've made this point very clear before. Back to the story.

Alice's father fell ill and she had to move temporarily to his house to help her family out. Of course, this was kinda sad for the both of us. We were really close at this point.

M: "Don't go fucking random dudes out there. Good luck."
A: "Let's stay in contact."
M: "Sure."

I lost count of the times we had sex that day, but I still remember the dull ache in my balls I felt afterwards.

I bought a dakimakura of Youmu and an onahole. I should have done this from the very beginning instead of doing all this. Well, at least I'm glad I met Alice.

-- cont