Neurotypical idiots

I fucking hate all of you for making me waste my time.

After graduating from university, I still was a virgin. Some of my ex-classmates I was kinda close with kept bugging me about my "distant, cold and aloof personality". They don't understand it's plain boring to spend your time with people who are majoring on computer engineering, yet still don't know how to install a Linux distro or make a basic IRC client in C. Because of this, interaction between us consisted of calling me whenever they wanted to play a multiplayer game or had a problem with their pirated software running on shitty hardware. Telling them outright to fuck off wasn't a good idea because university forces you to do group homework and making enemies is never a good idea, no matter where you are.

Now for the relevant part. Since we all grew out of university and went on with our lives, many of them followed the usual trend of getting a job, buying a car, finding a girlfriend and becoming utterly bitter faggots. One of my ex-classmates called me, said he's wondering how I've been doing and invited me over to his place. Trying not to be an asshole, I accepted his invitation and had a long conversation while we were having lunch. The lunch his girlfriend had prepared for all three of us.

Him: "How's life going for you?"
Me: "Got a job for a small company that works with embedded devices. Been writing some simple drivers and helping them with their Linux servers and stuff because they don't have any sysadmins yet. What about you?"
H: "Found a job at a company that makes software for other bigger companies. It's been pretty hard on me but I'm doing this for the both of us."
(starts staring at his girlfriend, she giggles and they kiss)
H: "I suppose you already found someone to give meaning to your life."
(first thought that comes to my head is that of my favorite Touhou, then I realize how gay he sounds)
M: "No, you know I'm not the kind of person to spend my time with others."
H: "Awww! Come on, aren't you a bit too old for that?"
(girlfriend agrees with a quick nod and a "Yeah, yeah")
H: I bet you still live alon- don't tell me you are still single!"
M: "Well, yeah. Time and money are virtually unlimited, there's nothing to complain about this lifestyle."
(girlfriend looks mildly offended)
H: "You wouldn't understand! You've never had someone to share your days with."
(Is that my fault? I consider myself an unintelligent dumbfuck and finding people who are mildly interesting is pretty fucking hard. Also, what kind of brainwashing have you been through? What's with those awfully cheesy sayings?)
M: "Of course not, I'm considerate enough not to bore other people to death with my endless ramblings about computers."
H: "Haha, don't say that, I'm pretty sure there's someone out there for you."
M: "I'm not trying to be mean, but I'm real fucking sick of that line. How many times have I told you I don't find permanent company enjoyable? Living alone and having all the time I want for myself is what I've always wanted ever since I was very young and I'm not giving it up after I've come this far."
H: "You're saying that because you're feeling lonely. Don't worry, it's not that uncommon to rationalize your situation, especially at your age. Believe me, you wouldn't want to go back to being single after you find someone you genuinely enjoy spending your time with."

Trying not to start a pointless argument at someone else's place, I laugh it off and propose we play something after we're done having lunch, on the excuse that "it's not that uncommon to become a little faggot at games, especially after you find a girlfriend". I was expecting his girlfriend to get mad and him to laugh, but instead they both laughed like monkeys. After finishing our lunch, I gave his girlfriend a honest compliment for her cooking skills, thanked both of them for the meal and went straight for his PS3. I spotted a brand new copy of some Call of Duty game,

M: "What about this one? Seems like neither of us have played this game before and it'd be nice to see if it really is catered for 12 year olds."
H: "Haha, yeah, I wouldn't play that game by myself, I bought it hoping I could play it with someone else."
M: "You haven't even peeled off the cover. Have you not played this with her?"
(you can read "shit, I totally forgot about her" on his face)
H: "Uh, she doesn't like that kind of games. (...) How about Little Big Planet?"
M: "Uh... okay."
("yay" in the background)

Thinking it would be a boring game for children, I was surprised after having some legitimate fun with it, though it's not my favorite kind of game and I was progressively getting bored. Seems like he was getting bored of it too, though his girlfriend was still brimming with enthusiasm. Which is funny because she was pretty bad at the game.

-- cont
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>>371
I don't even know where to start.

You (or I) might say this, but nobody else would.
This is something you would do.
This is something people outside /prog/ would never do.
she analyzed its behaviour in a way that is detailed in a way only you could appreciate

I sorry if I skipped the details to make this believable. She's programmed videogames enough to give a talk in a government-funded event, one that's known to be absurdly strict with their standards of what's considered worthy of being presented to hundreds of enterprise faggots. She's the owner of an indie game studio she created herself about 5 years ago, after she had success in the local market making "app-like" games. She was a lone programmer before founding the studio and hiring graphic designers, artists and programmers.

Now that you know this, what in the godliving hell do you think the speaker of a videogame conference, coming from a game studio, would talk about with a total stranger? Dinosaurs?

Have you never had a boss of yours attend an event that's relevant to him with a small group from your company? They don't go there just to drink beer, they go there to meet potential customers and STRATEGIC PARTNERS, get new ideas for incoming projects, get up-to-date with the latest INNOVATIONS in the industry and even to discreetly spy on other companies. I still don't know why you think this is bullshit when there are other bullshit-sounding parts of my story like the blonde rape (which I still don't believe myself).

The behaviour of the other women (Hatate and Alice) is highly implausible too.
Those other women, like this one, match your hobbies,

Of course, I didn't meet them on a fucking bus stop or at some epic rave like some others do. I've been to specific places that are visited by people with specific interests. Did you really expect me to meet a neurosurgeon at the weeb convention? Or a supermodel at the developer convention?

your temperament and your desires perfectly at the point in time they appear in your life.

Totally explains why I dated the shit out of the Rubik girl and enjoyed being manipulated by a blond retard to the point of feeling like I was raped, right? Just because I had two happy endings that could be considered successes doesn't mean I'm the luckiest man alive. I haven't even finished the story. I wouldn't be telling you this story if I had magically found a girl who matched all my hobbies, always kept a reasonable temperament and matched my desires as you're saying I did.