Neurotypical idiots

I fucking hate all of you for making me waste my time.

After graduating from university, I still was a virgin. Some of my ex-classmates I was kinda close with kept bugging me about my "distant, cold and aloof personality". They don't understand it's plain boring to spend your time with people who are majoring on computer engineering, yet still don't know how to install a Linux distro or make a basic IRC client in C. Because of this, interaction between us consisted of calling me whenever they wanted to play a multiplayer game or had a problem with their pirated software running on shitty hardware. Telling them outright to fuck off wasn't a good idea because university forces you to do group homework and making enemies is never a good idea, no matter where you are.

Now for the relevant part. Since we all grew out of university and went on with our lives, many of them followed the usual trend of getting a job, buying a car, finding a girlfriend and becoming utterly bitter faggots. One of my ex-classmates called me, said he's wondering how I've been doing and invited me over to his place. Trying not to be an asshole, I accepted his invitation and had a long conversation while we were having lunch. The lunch his girlfriend had prepared for all three of us.

Him: "How's life going for you?"
Me: "Got a job for a small company that works with embedded devices. Been writing some simple drivers and helping them with their Linux servers and stuff because they don't have any sysadmins yet. What about you?"
H: "Found a job at a company that makes software for other bigger companies. It's been pretty hard on me but I'm doing this for the both of us."
(starts staring at his girlfriend, she giggles and they kiss)
H: "I suppose you already found someone to give meaning to your life."
(first thought that comes to my head is that of my favorite Touhou, then I realize how gay he sounds)
M: "No, you know I'm not the kind of person to spend my time with others."
H: "Awww! Come on, aren't you a bit too old for that?"
(girlfriend agrees with a quick nod and a "Yeah, yeah")
H: I bet you still live alon- don't tell me you are still single!"
M: "Well, yeah. Time and money are virtually unlimited, there's nothing to complain about this lifestyle."
(girlfriend looks mildly offended)
H: "You wouldn't understand! You've never had someone to share your days with."
(Is that my fault? I consider myself an unintelligent dumbfuck and finding people who are mildly interesting is pretty fucking hard. Also, what kind of brainwashing have you been through? What's with those awfully cheesy sayings?)
M: "Of course not, I'm considerate enough not to bore other people to death with my endless ramblings about computers."
H: "Haha, don't say that, I'm pretty sure there's someone out there for you."
M: "I'm not trying to be mean, but I'm real fucking sick of that line. How many times have I told you I don't find permanent company enjoyable? Living alone and having all the time I want for myself is what I've always wanted ever since I was very young and I'm not giving it up after I've come this far."
H: "You're saying that because you're feeling lonely. Don't worry, it's not that uncommon to rationalize your situation, especially at your age. Believe me, you wouldn't want to go back to being single after you find someone you genuinely enjoy spending your time with."

Trying not to start a pointless argument at someone else's place, I laugh it off and propose we play something after we're done having lunch, on the excuse that "it's not that uncommon to become a little faggot at games, especially after you find a girlfriend". I was expecting his girlfriend to get mad and him to laugh, but instead they both laughed like monkeys. After finishing our lunch, I gave his girlfriend a honest compliment for her cooking skills, thanked both of them for the meal and went straight for his PS3. I spotted a brand new copy of some Call of Duty game,

M: "What about this one? Seems like neither of us have played this game before and it'd be nice to see if it really is catered for 12 year olds."
H: "Haha, yeah, I wouldn't play that game by myself, I bought it hoping I could play it with someone else."
M: "You haven't even peeled off the cover. Have you not played this with her?"
(you can read "shit, I totally forgot about her" on his face)
H: "Uh, she doesn't like that kind of games. (...) How about Little Big Planet?"
M: "Uh... okay."
("yay" in the background)

Thinking it would be a boring game for children, I was surprised after having some legitimate fun with it, though it's not my favorite kind of game and I was progressively getting bored. Seems like he was getting bored of it too, though his girlfriend was still brimming with enthusiasm. Which is funny because she was pretty bad at the game.

-- cont
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A few weeks later she sent me a mail with more details about the game. Most of them were about making it more usable, adding a plot and telling me if I wanted to work with (read: for) her. I avoided talking about such proposal and kept fishing for more advice. She said we could meet up at a cafe near her house to discuss some things.

I accepted. While I was waiting outside, a girl stood in front of me.

Her: "Good afternoon, [REDACTED]."

Who is this? Why does she know my nam- wow.

While we were at that building at the end of the world, she never took off her sunglasses or her beanie. In front of me there was a short girl wearing conservative clothes that looked expensive. She brought a designer and an "engineer" (a programmer) with her. This was much more formal than I thought it would be, it was kind of uncomfortable for me. I could have prepared myself for this.

I learned many things I didn't know about, like a government program that almost threw money at videogame developers that participated in a national videogame making contest. The prospect of getting pretty much lots of free money by using Unity or some other game engine to make a short game seemed interesting, but I couldn't find the motivation to do that when they forced boring topics on them like "a game about recycling" or "a game about good citizenship aimed for children".

Me: "That certainly sounds interesting but I have no experience making that kind of games."
Her: "It's okay, most game engines provide out-of-the-box features that speed up the process of learning and production."
Engineer: "Do you have any experience using game engines?"
Designer: "You'd only have to worry about the game logic."
M: "Not at all. That's not what I mean either. I'm saying I don't find the prospect of making games like that very appealing."
(everyone at the table made a DOES THIS GUY EVEN FOLLOW ENTERPRISE AGILE METHODOLOGIES grimace)
H: "Why is that?"
M: "First of all, I'm not a professional game developer. I don't make games with money in mind."
(same face, they weren't even trying to hide it)
H: "Anyway, we're not here to talk about that. I think we could make some modifications to your game and target it to a specific demographic sector that's more serious than the average."
E: "We want to make a console port based on your idea."
(fuck no, this isn't meant to be played with a controller)
M: "I don't have any experience with console programming-"
E: "We know getting a console SDK is almost impossible as an individual. We've got that covered."
H: "We'd like you to work with us."
M: "Give me some time to work on the design and I'll consider working with you."
(This wasn't the exact same thing I said but I remember saying something equally as nonsensical)
H: "Fine. Here are the conditions, should you accept our offer."

She handed me a sheet with what could be called an informal contract. Working with them four hours a day, two days a week for six months giving them progress reports, getting good pay and collecting the 50% of the profits of the finished game. A long-winded way of saying "outsourcing". I knew my game wouldn't sell shit because nobody will play anything that's not a shitty boring MOBA like League of Niggers anymore and the two faggots who would play it wouldn't pay a penny for it. I told them it'd be some time before I gave them my final decision and we left the place.

I mailed them a couple of weeks later saying I got a promotion at my current job which would take up most of my time and that I wouldn't be able to work with them under those conditions. I didn't actually get promoted, I didn't want to make a shitty console port of a shitty game only I like and that was my roundabout way of telling them. "In that case, would you like giving us a hand with what we're currently working on? We have flexible schedules". Do I look like cheap workforce that much? Why are they insisting so hard to have me on their team?

After this, I started seeing her as a money-hungry Jew more than a "fellow" game developer. Scare quotes because I can't even call myself a game developer. It happens, you can't live off this unless you are aggressive and PROACTIVE and that's the sad reality of pretty much everything out there.

-- cont