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Neurotypical idiots

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-20 2:39

I fucking hate all of you for making me waste my time.

After graduating from university, I still was a virgin. Some of my ex-classmates I was kinda close with kept bugging me about my "distant, cold and aloof personality". They don't understand it's plain boring to spend your time with people who are majoring on computer engineering, yet still don't know how to install a Linux distro or make a basic IRC client in C. Because of this, interaction between us consisted of calling me whenever they wanted to play a multiplayer game or had a problem with their pirated software running on shitty hardware. Telling them outright to fuck off wasn't a good idea because university forces you to do group homework and making enemies is never a good idea, no matter where you are.

Now for the relevant part. Since we all grew out of university and went on with our lives, many of them followed the usual trend of getting a job, buying a car, finding a girlfriend and becoming utterly bitter faggots. One of my ex-classmates called me, said he's wondering how I've been doing and invited me over to his place. Trying not to be an asshole, I accepted his invitation and had a long conversation while we were having lunch. The lunch his girlfriend had prepared for all three of us.

Him: "How's life going for you?"
Me: "Got a job for a small company that works with embedded devices. Been writing some simple drivers and helping them with their Linux servers and stuff because they don't have any sysadmins yet. What about you?"
H: "Found a job at a company that makes software for other bigger companies. It's been pretty hard on me but I'm doing this for the both of us."
(starts staring at his girlfriend, she giggles and they kiss)
H: "I suppose you already found someone to give meaning to your life."
(first thought that comes to my head is that of my favorite Touhou, then I realize how gay he sounds)
M: "No, you know I'm not the kind of person to spend my time with others."
H: "Awww! Come on, aren't you a bit too old for that?"
(girlfriend agrees with a quick nod and a "Yeah, yeah")
H: I bet you still live alon- don't tell me you are still single!"
M: "Well, yeah. Time and money are virtually unlimited, there's nothing to complain about this lifestyle."
(girlfriend looks mildly offended)
H: "You wouldn't understand! You've never had someone to share your days with."
(Is that my fault? I consider myself an unintelligent dumbfuck and finding people who are mildly interesting is pretty fucking hard. Also, what kind of brainwashing have you been through? What's with those awfully cheesy sayings?)
M: "Of course not, I'm considerate enough not to bore other people to death with my endless ramblings about computers."
H: "Haha, don't say that, I'm pretty sure there's someone out there for you."
M: "I'm not trying to be mean, but I'm real fucking sick of that line. How many times have I told you I don't find permanent company enjoyable? Living alone and having all the time I want for myself is what I've always wanted ever since I was very young and I'm not giving it up after I've come this far."
H: "You're saying that because you're feeling lonely. Don't worry, it's not that uncommon to rationalize your situation, especially at your age. Believe me, you wouldn't want to go back to being single after you find someone you genuinely enjoy spending your time with."

Trying not to start a pointless argument at someone else's place, I laugh it off and propose we play something after we're done having lunch, on the excuse that "it's not that uncommon to become a little faggot at games, especially after you find a girlfriend". I was expecting his girlfriend to get mad and him to laugh, but instead they both laughed like monkeys. After finishing our lunch, I gave his girlfriend a honest compliment for her cooking skills, thanked both of them for the meal and went straight for his PS3. I spotted a brand new copy of some Call of Duty game,

M: "What about this one? Seems like neither of us have played this game before and it'd be nice to see if it really is catered for 12 year olds."
H: "Haha, yeah, I wouldn't play that game by myself, I bought it hoping I could play it with someone else."
M: "You haven't even peeled off the cover. Have you not played this with her?"
(you can read "shit, I totally forgot about her" on his face)
H: "Uh, she doesn't like that kind of games. (...) How about Little Big Planet?"
M: "Uh... okay."
("yay" in the background)

Thinking it would be a boring game for children, I was surprised after having some legitimate fun with it, though it's not my favorite kind of game and I was progressively getting bored. Seems like he was getting bored of it too, though his girlfriend was still brimming with enthusiasm. Which is funny because she was pretty bad at the game.

-- cont
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Name: !PjnbLbtYFM 2015-04-22 1:45

For one, it was kind of late for Hatate to leave. What if some nigger raped her on her way to the station? It would be my fault if that happened. I don't want her to think I'm an asshole. More importantly, there's only one bed and I don't have any inflatable mattresses or anything like that. My house has never been ready for guests because I never considered the possibility of having one.

M: "Look, I don't mind having you stay here. My answer would be yes if there were some place for you to sleep. I only have one be-"
H: "It's okay, I'll sleep here on the couch."
M: "I can't let you do th-"
H: "Then you sleep here and I'll sleep in your bed."
M: "No way in hell."
H: "You don't want me to think you're a bad host, right? Don't worry, that won't happen even if you sleep in your bed and I sleep in the shower."
(I'm never letting anyone else get close to my fucking bed)
M: "What does that even have to do with the issue at han-"
H: "I'll sleep here and you'll sleep in your own bed. You must have spare blankets, otherwise that means you don't ever wash the set you sleep with and that would be kimoi."
M: "Kimoi? Are you twelve?"
H: (laughs)

Well, I've got no right to say that keeping in mind that I've got an imaginary (girl)friend.

We spent the rest of the night playing rFactor and watching anime. Then I had a sudden question for Hatate.

M: "Have you always liked racing games? Save for Alice, only men like them. It's even harder to find a girl who's willing to spend so much time on more serious games like this, if you can call them that."
H: "Not really, I'd always hate it when I was at Alice's and she'd beg me to play racing games with her."
M: "Then what made you change your mind?"
H: "I'm not sure but now I truly enjoy them. Not as much as you and Alice do, that's for sure, but they're no longer an afternoon-long torture."
M: "You must have hated them."
H: "Yeah."

I was tired. I took the computer back to my room and brought some blankets for Hatate.

M: "Here."
H: "You sure you don't want to sleep on the couch?"
M: "I already said no. I'm sleeping on my bed."
H: "Nevermind. Good night."
M: "Okay. Good night."
H: "I'm still waiting for my goodnight kiss."
M: "Seriously?"
H: "Yeah. Are you a barbarian?"
M: "No. What the hell?"
H: "You idiot! Are you even capable of-"
M: "Is a hug okay?"
H: "Yes."

I hugged her and went to sleep.

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