The Sadness of Being Cummed Inside

So you spend most of your time alone, you live in that depressing suburb, you're basically Mr Bean and one morning you wake up with cum dripping from your anus. You have been cummed inside during your sleep. You feel like you've lost the last bit of your dignity. You decide that life isn't worth it.

How did the cum get inside?

Who did the cumming?

How did they manage to cum inside without waking me up?

At what time in the night did the cumming happen?

How did they manage to get inside the house?

There are too many unanswered questions that make me doubt the veracity of this story.