Name: Anonymous 2016-07-05 0:24
I dated this one girl for a good portion of my high school career. I remember our junior year we were at a party and my buddy says, “Yo, my moms out of town, me and my girl are headed back to my place, you and your girl can crash in another room” so we immediately jump on our first opportunity to be able to have uninterrupted sex at night. We get there and she starts to blow me. Mid blow job, this drunk as shit girl looks up, screams, “DONT WORRY! I heard it feels good for guys” and proceeds to give me a rim job.
Fast-forward a year. It’s summer going into my senior year and I decide to take the same girl out on a date. I take her to Joes Crab shack, $25 a pop, $10 tip. I take her right after to see Piranha 3D, $15 a ticket. I’m driving her back home at about midnight and I ask her if she wants to stop at this park we always went to get busy at. I pull up to this park and make my way to the back seat. I get her naked and she starts blowing me. I tell her to mover her head down a little. She does. So I tell her to suck my balls. She does. I tell her to go a little lower. She says,” NO, I AM NOT DOING THAT, I WAS DRUNK JR YEAR AND ILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN” to which I reply, “LISTEN I SPENT $60 ON DINNER AND $30 ON A SHITTY MOVIE. YOURE DOING IT.” So she proceeds to give me another rim job. Now I am unsure how exactly she thought of this but all of a sudden she looks up at me and says, “whaaaat would happen iiifff….” and immediately puts her head right back down.
All of a sudden I feel this pressure on my asshole I've never felt before in my life, as if air was blown up my asshole. That's what happened, this girl wanted to see what would happen if she blew air into my asshole.
Well, this air loosened up a nice, Joes Crab Shack, Old Bay fart which in turn shot right out of my ass into the mouth of the girl still rimming. She inhales. She throws open the door and starts puking her brains out.
Now all I see, in this order, is my boner, her ass keeled over quatching, and the most bewildered looking cop walking towards the car to see why it was parked there after dark.
Lesson learned that night: Asshole breath won't help you pass a breathalyzer test.
Fast-forward a year. It’s summer going into my senior year and I decide to take the same girl out on a date. I take her to Joes Crab shack, $25 a pop, $10 tip. I take her right after to see Piranha 3D, $15 a ticket. I’m driving her back home at about midnight and I ask her if she wants to stop at this park we always went to get busy at. I pull up to this park and make my way to the back seat. I get her naked and she starts blowing me. I tell her to mover her head down a little. She does. So I tell her to suck my balls. She does. I tell her to go a little lower. She says,” NO, I AM NOT DOING THAT, I WAS DRUNK JR YEAR AND ILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN” to which I reply, “LISTEN I SPENT $60 ON DINNER AND $30 ON A SHITTY MOVIE. YOURE DOING IT.” So she proceeds to give me another rim job. Now I am unsure how exactly she thought of this but all of a sudden she looks up at me and says, “whaaaat would happen iiifff….” and immediately puts her head right back down.
All of a sudden I feel this pressure on my asshole I've never felt before in my life, as if air was blown up my asshole. That's what happened, this girl wanted to see what would happen if she blew air into my asshole.
Well, this air loosened up a nice, Joes Crab Shack, Old Bay fart which in turn shot right out of my ass into the mouth of the girl still rimming. She inhales. She throws open the door and starts puking her brains out.
Now all I see, in this order, is my boner, her ass keeled over quatching, and the most bewildered looking cop walking towards the car to see why it was parked there after dark.
Lesson learned that night: Asshole breath won't help you pass a breathalyzer test.