The night air had a sting to it, like the wind-driven desert sands had felt against my succulent integument. I squinted out the open window, past my leftarm needles, blearily trying to gauge the time from the moon's position. That was a skill I had learned from many lonely hours in my youth, in the open air, my roots sandily ensconced, and my arms upraised to that same moon.
A sudden rapping alerted me. Someone was knocking on my door. And from the backlighting from the hallway, I could tell it was a dame. But from her spiky curves, I could tell it was more than a dame.
It was trouble.
I'm Ned Dulle, Private Eye, cactus.
Name:
Anonymous2014-11-16 15:52
St Lucia travel guide An insider's guide to St Lucia, featuring the island's best hotels, restaurants, bars, shops, attractions and things to do, including how to travel there and around. By Fred Mawer, Telegraph Travel's St Lucia expert. Click on the tabs below for the best places to stay, eat, drink and shop, including the best things to do and the top beaches.
Why go? For the scenery as much as to flop on the beach. Much of St Lucia is mountainous and covered in a blanket of thick rainforest, and the south-west corner has arguably the most arresting sight in the whole Caribbean: of the green and precipitous volcanic cones of the Petit Piton and Gros Piton rising out of a blue ocean. That is not to say that St Lucia doesn't have some lovely beaches - they are golden in the north, and mostly silvery in the volcanic south. It's just that they are rather outshone by the island's other natural assets.
St Lucia is also as good a choice as anywhere in the Caribbean for secluded, upmarket, romantic places to stay. Your hotel room might have an outdoor garden shower, a private plunge pool, a hammock for two on its balcony, and a view of the thrusting Pitons. Nature and fertility will be all around you.
Several hotels have featured prominently in the US and UK versions of The Bachelor television series, and wherever you go, you trip over wedding ceremonies and loved-up honeymooning couples. That said, a week on St Lucia doesn't have to be all about candlelit meals for two every night. There are also good family-oriented hotels, and you can party the night away in Rodney Bay Village, the island's only resort.
When to go Peak season on St Lucia runs from mid-December to April. In these months, accommodation rates are generally significantly higher than at other times of the year, but the weather is usually at its best. Rates are cheaper in the summer and autumn months, when it's stickier and wetter - and note that St Lucia gets more rain than other less mountainous Caribbean islands such as Barbados or Antigua.
Also bear in mind that the hurricane season runs from June to November, with September and October statistically the likeliest months for major storms. Taking into account prices and weather, May is a good month to visit - you could time your visit to coincide with the island's major annual jazz festival. Know before you go
Crime Most visits are trouble-free, but there have been incidents of crime including murder, armed robbery and sexual assault.
You should maintain at least the same level of personal security awareness as you would in the UK and make sure your accommodation is secure. This also applies if you are staying on a yacht. Be vigilant at all times. Take care when walking alone off the busy main roads and avoid isolated areas, including beaches, particularly after dark.
Only use licensed taxis and take particular care at late night street parties, especially during the festival season. Don’t carry large amounts of cash or jewellery. If possible, leave valuables and travel documents in a safety deposit box or hotel safe. You should check that the hotel safe is securely fixed before using it to store your items.
Road Travel
Driving is on the left. To drive on the island you must get a local temporary driving licence. The car hire companies will usually help with this. You must present a valid UK driving licence.
Take care when driving on the roads as there can be potholes and speed bumps. Observe the speed limits. You should take extra care on minor roads and in rural areas where there are narrow roads and blind corners. Pedestrians often walk on the roads and indicators are not always used.
Take extra care when driving at night as some roads are unlit. Road signs and hazards may not be easily visible.
Don’t stop if you’re flagged down by pedestrians. Keep car doors locked when driving.
In the event of an accident, call the police and don’t move the vehicle.
Taxis aren’t metered. Standard taxi fares exist for most destinations. Agree the fare in local currency with the driver before you set off. You can often pay in US dollars as well as EC dollars.
Take care especially on the main east coast road to and from Hewanorra International Airport.
Public transport is available and cheaper. Minibuses drivers may drive above the speed limit.
I would love to take >>2-san and >>3-san along the Cactus Valley Trail in St Lucia, where it is certain that they would not survive the experience due to a plurality of needles in their integuments, and therefoar they would end up as food foar the many scavengers in that area.